Re: Slight problem Re: Slight problem
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2ss
17 y
6,458
† Cross †
Re: Slight problem UserX
17 y
5,810
I Am A Rock AHarleyGyrl
17 y
5,926
A winter's day
In a deep and dark December;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
I've built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
Don't talk of love,
Well, I've heard the word before.
It's sleeping in my memory.
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.
"It sounds as though you've become an island, pretty much empty, isolating yourself and feeling nothing."
Tough love is an expression used when someone must treat another person harshly or sternly in order to help them in the long run. Some of us simply didn't know how else to effectively respond to you.
"All I see them doing is making an attachment that will eventually hurt you."
Light Your Own Fire Audio Program: http://www.lightyourfire.com/products_ind.cfm?catid=8&affid=107
"I view intimacy as a trick to get you hooked on something that will eventually hurt you. I know damn well if I love him he'll be gone with someone else. Happens every time."
Well, this kind of proves you were taking us for a ride with your original post, then, doesn't it?
"As long as I don't love him I have a pretty good life but I know darn well if I start to love him he'll be gone."
Dealing with Abandonment Issues: http://www.abandonment.net/therapist.html
"I'm content on the inside knowing when he does leave it won't hurt."
You know what they say: "Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all."
"But I had 8 good years."
Hey, longer than some cars last: Time to get out there and kick some new tires (and I do mean kick).
"And I'm pretty sure if he does leave he'll leave me in pretty good shape fiancially."
If he knew all this (that honesty thing I mentioned), he might have second thoughts on that.
"You would have saved yourselves a lot of heartache and tears if you hadn't tried to love them and be intimate"
Well, I had to be sure, but now I am pretty convinced; You are exhibiting sociopathic personality traits: http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=1184&i=163 (this isn't really for your info, though, because if you were one, you would not understand it; It's more for the readers of your post so that perhaps they can make some sense out of it).
"He says he's got a perfect wife except for the intimacy thing."
Well, he is wrong.
"So I don't know if I want to go down that road."
Oh, so now you don't know? Which is it?
"Allthough he has said that if it doesn't work out with me he'll never have another woman the rest of his life."
See, when you say things like this, it leads me to believe that you are hiding something from us. Something just doesn't sound quite right.
"I won't have all the heartache you people have either."
Oh yes you will. Heartache comes in many forms. Unless you are a sociopath, then you have no conscious and wouldn't have to worry about it. They try to convince others of odd behavior that goes against societal norms, which is what you have been doing, so I am suspicious. I think you need a mental health exam.
If you are serious, then I have used these Joe Land tapes/CDs. In fact, I am getting ready to order some again. They work extraordinarily and you can listen to the while you are onthe computer. There are a few you might want to order. they have a communication one.
http://www.southwestsubliminal.com/southwest_subliminal_faqs.htm
https://host4.successfulhosting.com/southwestsubliminal/ordercat.htm
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=1184&i=43
Well, 2ss, I wish you the very best, particularly for your children. The site that I provided was not meant to be a slap in the face - it was meant as a stepping-stone towards understanding and acceptance. And, I don't believe that any of the members responding to your initial post have responded in an inappropriate manner. You asked and were duly in receipt of complete honesty. In some circles, it's termed as "Tough Love."
Why love and risk harm? To be quite frank, how would we ever accomplish anything without risk? If human beings had chosen to avoid risk, we wouldn't have knowledge of beneficial roots and herbs, telescopes, African-American Presidential Candidates, or missions to Mars. Risk is something that we either choose to stare down or not. If we choose to risk, we could find ourselves piloting a space shuttle. If we choose not to risk, we find ourselves stuck in an endless cycle of emptiness.
For me, the risk of involving myself in another possibly abusive relationship almost caused me to sabotage what evolved into a partnership with my best friend, partner, and companion. To leave an abusive relationship, I risked (and, lost) just about everything that I ever had - heirlooms, investments, real estate, vehicles, my mother's jewelry, and many other "Things." The one thing that I did not lose in that process of escape was my soul and my Self. Yes, I had to face the fear of homelessness and, yes, I had to come to grips with many hard facts of living (i.e.; riding a city bus that got shot at when passing through the projects). But, you know what? I didn't have to submit to spousal rape, financial abuse, spiritual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, and verbal abuse in trade for financial "security."
Having a great physical appearance doesn't mean that we're immortal, 2ss. There will come a day (God willing) that we are old. Cosmetic surgery, crunches, triathalons, and gyms do not halt the progress of time. What will you do, then? Suffer the horrors of implants and surgeries in a vain effort to remain youthful? Will you continue to protitute yourself (sagging skin, and all) in exchange for having your immediate needs (and, "wants") met? As it is, you have suggested that you have no happiness in your life and it most certainly is not due to your being worthless! You are unhappy because you are unable or unwilling to experience intimacy. Suggesting that you are "worthless" is the most blatant invitation to a Pity Party that I've seen in a long, long time (coming from an adult, at any rate), and I don't attend pity parties with the exception of my own, but I thank you for the thoughtful invitation.
Reading a book or perusing relationship material isn't going to do a thing for you, 2ss. When we are ingesting information, we can pick through it just like picking through a piece of catfish: we eat the meat and discard that which might get stuck in our throats. If it were me, I would attend counseling with a very tough therapist. I would force myself to step back and take stock of what I have done in relation to what I should be doing to teach my children a Better Path. I would stop using the excuse of "fear of risking hurt" to explain away my choices and throw myself into the hard work that will lead me to light, agape, and fearlessness.
Yeah, risk is a scary thing. And, sometimes we experience discomfort when we risk and lose - I would rather risk and lose than de-evolve into what I once was. Because my offspring only saw me when I was terrified of risk, they learned that it was better to remain apathetic and unambitious than to exercise some stinking Free Will! I won't go into their choices - this is about YOU, not me.
I wish you the very best of healing, 2ss. And, for your children who are watching you very, very closely, I wish them the very best, as well.
Re: OT makes me wonder AHarleyGyrl
17 y
5,473
"Do the men
have to have their gonads rearranged??"
I am for this, I am for this!!
Re: Final note AHarleyGyrl
17 y
5,890
Re: Just to clarify AHarleyGyrl
17 y
5,677
