karen

i take full responsibility for the entire exchange. my life is in constant friction and sometimes the dynamics from different aspects of it spill over into the others. but dont blame it on not getting any last night. i never get any.

the trigger for me was cora being gung-ho about me being a mod. well, i have several factors that weigh heavily on that, not the least of which is my current home situation and uncertainties regarding that. frankly, i dont know if i will even be here tomorrow(internet access). for a guy who takes commitment as seriously as i do, these forces outside of my control make it difficult to do so in good faith. also, i dont care to explain it any better than that in public, so it leaves the perception of me open to vast interpretation sometimes. i already act as a rorshach image to people as it is. people who have a problem with me have a problem with themselves. i dont try to change them as it is not my responsibility.

anyway.... i did not want a cheerleader. it would not have mattered who it was.

you are right about one thing - i expect those in the know to assume my words are meant for good. i thought cora knew. i know you do.

love(and lots of it) always


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