Re: World Of Warcraft Killing my Mariage!
Dear kjcmjc88,
I was just looking for ideas for my college essay when I happened onto your post. I saw that you dropped this post just a few days ago, and being a recovering wow-junkie, I felt obligated to share my experience in the hopes that it might help your marriage. I will be explaining from the male's point of view so you will have a little insight about what your husband is going through. I will in no way attempt to excuse his behavior, I believe he is wrong (for God's sakes, you've got kids man!) but I do understand what he is dealing with and I can sympathise.. boy can I sympathise.. but my advice is aimed at helping, not hurting.
Now, I am a single guy so I've never had the misfortune of allowing wow to replace any paternal responsibilities. I have however been through three breakups with the same drop-dead gorgeous girl. Srsly, she was a smoking hotty. I started playing when we were together and we were in love. Wow is INCREDIBLY addictive. It requires a LOT of time to be enjoyable. I became instantly hooked. My girlfriend at the time didnt want me to start but I did. As time went on, she experienced what you are going through right now. Eventually tensions grew between us, her complaining became irritating. She gave me a choice. You can guess what I chose.
Unfortunately, she thought that I would come crawling back. We were in love but I had a distraction, so the breakup didnt affect me in any other way besides allowed me to play more wow. I was sad and became lonely later on. If I needed consolation, I got it from my wow buddies who all told me how retarded I was after they saw her picture. God, she was beautiful. So she would call me sometimes and out of respect, I would stop playing wow to talk to her but she would get mad if she called and I kept playing becuase all she would get was, "uhh.. yah, sure.. huh? Oh, no... mmhmm.. ah.. mmhmm.. ... ... yah Im here... ... uh... what?"
After a while she would start coming back and I would miss her especially when she came over to seduce me. Omg.. anyways. We would be together for a while and I tried to get her to play wow but she wouldnt even try. So we broke up again for about six months. My job required me to travel to England for about 6 months and I didnt get to play wow at all. At first I had major major withdrawl but then it waned and I was a normal person again. I was talking to my ex again and we patched things up. When I got back things were better than ever. We were going out and doing things together, life was great.
But Im sure as you can tell by my referall to the past tense that things didnt work out in the end. No, I started up on wow again. First just late at night while she was sleeping. Then a little more and a little more, and eventually I was right back where we started. She moved away after and hasnt contacted me since. I dont blame her, it was my fault.
I no longer play wow and I refuse to touch anymore online games because apparently they are my only vice. I dont smoke or drink, but even when I see a wow commercial, my heart skips a beat, my mouth waters, and my fingertips yearn for the homekeys.
I finally quit wow when I FINALLY realised it was ruining my life. Well, I knew it was ruining my life as it was happening but I didnt care. This is important for you to know because to solve this problem, your husband has to want to quit. Until that happens there is nothing you can do.
I would suggest trying to get into the game with him, even if you dont want to. I bet he would be delighted and it would allow you to reach him. This is an alternative to leaving him and might eventually improve your relationship. I can say with confidence that his wow addiction will pass. The problem is no one knows when. If you can share with him in the game, he will probably be more open with you. It will be a means of communication for you.
I guess it comes down to how much you love him. Are you willing to meet him halfway and rescue him from the clutches of Azeroth? If so, it will take some involvement on your part. You might even get him to entertain the kids while you level up or farm gold. Its possible that he would see your need to level as a valid reason for taking care of the kids for a while.
If this isnt an option, then this would be a good time to get a divorce if that is what you want. He will probably be too wrapped up in outlands to care that you took the kids and cleaned him out. Well write back and keep me posted. Im interested in knowing how things turn out. I hope what I have shared has helped, even in the slightest.
Wishing you all the luck in the world...of warcraft...
cheers,
vgamer
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