#4715
I have had the same problem with my mother. Your last statement was the most accurate statement of why she is so difficult to talk to. She is an unreasonable person (insists on being stupid, not just PLAYING stupid, there actually is no difference, not anymore, the habit of PLAYING stupid has become a condition and part of her personality). If you try to reason with an unreasonable person, you will lose because PROPER and EFFECTIVE communication requires a 'meeting of the minds', meaning that you have to 'be on the same page' as each other.
If you do something and she says "You can't do that' (obviously, you already did it), tell her "then, I just did the impossible". It was completely obvious to her that you did what she said can't be done, but she disregarded that fact in order to cause controversy and arguement, not because she really didn't realize that you did it, but because she NEEDS (not just wants) to start controversy and arguement in order to find a way to make believe that she is better than you (nobody is better THAN anybody, maybe 'better off' or they behave in a better manner or someone becomes better than they were because they learned from the experience). If you are a good person and have principles, people will see that and feel jealous if they don't have principles (you will put them to shame). They will look for a way to 'chop you down to size' (their size), they will look for a way to impose shame, guilt, humiliation or intimidation on you. This is why she NEEDS controversy and arguement (so she can NEGOTIATE you into shame and put you in "your" place, control). That one comeback will teach her to think, and as long as you don't back down (make a habit out of standing up to her), she will learn to respect you and give you the respect that is due a stranger (common basic human respect).