Typhon...

Thank you for sharing your personal story and offering up some clarity to your reponses.

A family that accuses you of deliberately becoming mentally ill to inflict torment on them sounds terribly twisted, and perhaps there is really good reason here to suspect that as a child they may have been the ones to contribute much to your imbalance. It must have been terribly painful for you to have to endure this, and to have to live with the ravages of untreated mental illness as well. I can't blame you for having resisted treatment under those circumstances, as they were creating awful confusion for you. Good thing that your resilience took over and you took your life into your own hands, also good is that they were able to see their mistakes and offer apologies to you. That should allow for some closure and healing for you.

However this woman's problem with her husband and yours are entirely different situations. Although mental illness and addictions are in some ways related, there is a measure of responsibility in addicts to seek change in their lives which can not be expected of a mentally ill person. Unless the addicted person is also mentally ill, the manipulations and abuses that the addict inflicts upon others are his/her own choice.

No one here has implied that her husband has abused her purposefully, and none of us have any knowledge as to whether he is capable of that or not. However, in a sense it is a mute point. Whether he spends hours scheming what he will do to aggravate her next or not, the result is a woman who has put up with more than she should ever have to. The advice remains the same, it is toxic for her an she should leave. Just because he manifested some very negative behavior well into their marriage does not mean that she is responsible for it. It most likely would have happened no matter who he married, and if anything he was lucky to find a woman who waited with so much patience and who gave in to all his demands. She has simply decided to stop the cycle of pain. I'm sure that she will move on and not take personal revenge, but seek health and healing for herself and her children.

I wish you much healing of your memories and chemistry as well. Again, thanks for adding the explanation. Tweet