Re: Am I wrong for ending it?

It seems to me that your husband is not made of "husband" material, to put it mildly.

Gambling, strip joints, wasting money like there's no tomorrow with his buddies or brother, that's not for a father and husband. It's probably not even for college kids.

To answer your questions bluntly (and I am male):

1. Is it any of my business what he did while he was away from the house?

Yes, you were still married and if he really cared about his family and you, he'd not welcome the separation as an opportunity to do all those "forbidden things"; in his place I'd be sad and sitting under some tree somewhere thinking - "where did I go wrong?". I certainly wouldn't be glad it all happened.

2. Should I have given up on him so easily?

You are asking two questions here: should you have given up on him, and should you have done it with such ease.

First one - yes, you should, if you wanted to. Or you could've chosen to stay with him, and suffer with your kids until you are left out on the street and he marrily walks to another strip joint and blows the money he doesn't have on girls and buddies.

The second one: was it really "easy" for you to make that decision? I think we all know the answer... it definitely was not easy. But you are probably asking this because he accused you of deciding to leave him with "ease". It's called a guilt trip and it's just part of a game to make you feel responsible for his behaviour. But you are only responsible for your own actions, and not his. Remember that. He's a human being, not a programmed robot or a trained animal - therefore whatever he does is a matter of his own decision making process. No one can force another person to do something against their own will. You couldn't force me to go to a strip joint, no matter what you did.

3. He wants us to be together, and claims that every marriage is rocky in the beginning, and claims that one day we would look back on this and laugh, is he right?

Another easy way out. Again, trying to mask his responsibility. Marriage being "rocky" or people adjusting to having to share a bed with someone is one thing. But stealing money from your own kids and wife??? Saying - you can take it or leave it??? I've never said that to my wife, and I've never taken a penny from the house, just like she never did that either.
So he is trying to confuse you. What if he sold the house and left you and the kids on the street - would that be a "rocky start to a marriage"??? No.

4. While we've been apart this time, he's kept it no secret that he is still gambling, and going out with his friends. He even ordered p 0 r n on my TV while he was visiting his kids. What should I do?

Great, at least you don't have to worry about making a bad decision. He's free to gamble, and that's not compatible with family life.

Remember that gambling is an addiction, and is one of the most damaging addictions. Only if the addicted person makes good no the promise to take therapy and so on, is it worth giving it a shot at staying together. In all other cases, even when there are tons of promises, but no real deep changes, it's best to walk away.

It is not your job to change him. It is all up to him and he's demonstrated how little he cares about you and kids.

Walk, or rather - run - before it's too late. Also, make sure he has no access whatsoever to your money: credit cards, checking account, and so on and get a good divorce lawyer. Tweet