Re: Maybe if I explain it one more time

I would write dad letters, then ask him about them and he would tell me that he never even read them. He knew the contents and would not face them. It gave me shivers to know you had the same experience.

I am inclined to agree with you that they are "born without a soul". And for years - up till the last few months, I wondered, pondered, asked - what happened to dad that made him this way?? What terrible abuse or neglect?? And I realized that I had been terribly and horribly abused - neglected needs, beaten to unconsciousness, choked, psychologically manipulated, emotionally devastated, isolated, etc. - and if trauma or abuse is the excuse, then why am I not that way?? The only answer I know of is because I HAVE a soul!! Thank you GOD - I would never want to be the way dad is - what a hollow pathetic person.

Yesterday he called and left a message that said I should stop being pigheaded and call, that it was "time" - sounds like an executioner : ) - "Ms. Boleyn, it is "time" to move to the chopping block" - then he got all weird and called me over and over for 5 minutes or so. The funny part is that we have gone for many many months without speaking in the past when HE was pissed at me for some imaginary something, but now that HE is ready for me to be back in his life, he won't leave it alone. He MUST have control.

Throw some little prayers out there that I can have the strength I need not to cave and crack and give him the unhealthy relationship he wants to have with me.

I believe I am past it now, but confronting Satan has never been my strong suit! ;) Tweet