Re: Maybe if I explain it one more time

It depends upon where you read that repeating information to children is "insulting." I have learned (and, read) that we actually don't process information until it has been repeated a number of times, unless the information is utterly interesting to us. If my children are "insulted" by repetition, then they can easily avoid accepting the insult and listen the first time! LOL

As for repeating one's Self to an abusive person, there IS no hearing on their end. I used to do the same thing: pleading for understanding, begging to be heard, insisting that he acknowledge the damage that he had inflicted. I even used to write letters with the foolish belief that he would actually read them and process the information, and apologize for the damage that he had inflicted. My denial was finally dissolved when he tore one up in front of me without having even read a single word. I finally understood that it would never happen unless he had a personal epiphany that caused him to take stock of his entire life's pusruits of harming others (not just me). An abusive narcissist cannot, or will not, recognize other human beings as nothing more than tools to be used to meet their own needs, regardless of what those needs might be.

Sometimes, there is no answer as to, "Why?" someone chooses to inflict the damage that they do. Sometimes, the only reply is, "Because." As human beings, we really don't like that answer and, all too often, we get caught up in "searching for the truth" with regards to other people's behavior. We spend entirely too much time trying to "figure out" what caused someone to choose to behave in a certain way and, in spite of neurosciences, psychology, psychiatry, and spiritual lessons, there is no bona fide, reasonable explanation.

My personal belief is that there are a number of individuals who are brought into this world who do not have a soul. This could explain their hatred of human emotion, non-abusive physical contact, genuine affection (without sexual expectations), responsibility, personal accountability, etc. That one human being can perpetrate such heinous sins against others without so much as flinching seems to bear out my personal belief. Of course, my belief is strictly personal and not meant to be accepted by anyone else - it's probably the only way that I could "explain" the damage that one human being intentionally inflicts upon another. And, I don't buy into that, "But, he/she had such a TERRIBLE childhood," excuse. We have all - each and every one of us - endured a dysfunctional upbringing, to one degree or another, and not all of us have devolved into abusive perpetrators, though the ability to do so would not have taken much of a leap. There is no excuse for a person's choice to intentionally inflict emotional and/or physical damage to other human beings - period. Tweet