Re: anyone

"However, she seems to be such a wimp when it comes to taking a firm stand in anything, mostly she speaks through her husband or someone else. E-mails are very popular with her, or telephone. It's like she can hide that way."

All of the narcissists that I have ever known have refused to take their grievances to a public forum. Rational face-to-face discussions are usually sidestepped, particularly if the narcissist is asked to discuss issues, in person, in front of a number of people.

As for allowing someone else to "speak" for someone - her husband speaks for her? This might be an indication of a completely different situation. My ex "spoke" for me during my years of abuse at his hands. And, for all intents and purposes, when we were finally ordered by the Court to submit to psychiatric evaluation, HE was observed to be the rational one between the two of us - just goes to show that even a seasoned, educated professional can be utterly fooled by a narcissist.

Ask yourself these questions:
Are my emotions and feelings safe with my sister?
Do I often feel drained of energy around my sister?
After visiting with my sister, do I feel humiliated, degraded, or guilty for things over which I have no control?
Does my sister maintian very fragile relationships with other people?
Have members of my family been told outrageous lies by my sister?
Does my sister use children/grandchildren, or other family interests as "weapons" of control?
Does my sister threaten (veiled, or outright) that affection or acknowlegment will be witheld if someone disagrees with her?
Does my sister "reward" people who agree with her current opinions/behavior?
Does my sister engage in behavior that intentionally harms (physically or emotionally) other people?
Does my sister ever engage in campaigns of slanderous misinformation in order to set one person against another?
Is there a constant aura of drama and trauma surrounding my sister?
Does my sister engage in the One Upmanship game? (My cold is WORSE than YOUR cold)

Sorry for the long post. Keep checking out the sites that are listed on the forum posts! Being armed with knowledge is half of the battle when dealing with a narcissist!

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