You are blaming the victim here

People like this don't show you who they really are at first. They are trying to impress you and get you to trust them and are on their very best behavior until they catch you.

My ex bf was emotionally abusive, but he did lots of volunteer work helping others, ran a health list, and a dog rescue, so I didn't see it at first. I always thought he was a nice man, so did everyone else. As soon as I saw the pattern of criticism, negativity and attempt at control begin to emerge, I stood up for myself, while giving him the benefit of the doubt (bad job, illness, family problems, etc). When it didn't change, I got out. I am sure it would have gotten to be physical abuse, he once punched a man in a road rage incident. I was lucky I was observant, most don't find out until they are married and have a child which makes it more difficult to leave. Still, I am surprised at how long it took me to figure out the real person behind the mask and how much I looked the other way on because I wanted to believe him. Tweet