Re: serious...need help

Sweetie, I'm so glad you have finally made up your mind to save yourself and your children by getting out of this evil cycle of destruction. However, I'm greatly distubed by your continual apologetic manner, hoping that WE do not consider you 'weak and spineless' for leaving. Sound to me sweetheart, that you came from a home where you were not allowed to display much emotion or human empathy for fear of being called weak and useless. Do yourself a favor,and not only get up and leave your resident tormentor, but leave your old self deprecating thoughts and actions and leave the old legalistic religious ideas behind as well.

Please do not consider legalism and spirituality to be the same. The Pharisees did that and Jesus did not cheer them on. As others have pointed out, marriage is a covenant between a couple and God, but when either of the spouses or both violate the terms of agreeement, that covenant has been breached and the document negated. There is no longer a marriage. This is no different from an earthly legal document. You rent an apartment from a landlord and you sign a lease. You promise to pay a stipulated amount monthly and keep the property in good condition. The landlord promises to keep up the structure and allow you to live in peace. But if you don't pay your rent, or if the landlord starts to invade your privacy or allow things to go unrepaired, then one or both of the parties involved have broken that legal agreement and it is no longer binding. Well, it's no different with contracts drawn before God, the agreement has to be honored, or it is no longer effective. Simple as that!!

You say you wish you were a good and obedient Christian. Good, start by developing a desire to really know the heart of your God, and not what your church leaders have told you 'about' God. God doesn't go around putting us into hard pass-or-fail tests. He is sufficiently able to work out ALL things for our good, even the bad ones, for those who love Him and are walking after Him. He also doesn't need to play games with us, as He knows the outcome of all our situations. Please get yourself into a church that will teach the uncompromising Word of God without legalistic or new-agey trappings. There is freedom in Christ, even for the worst of sinners, which I don't think you are in this case. He has erased our transgressions as far as the east is from the west, and made our sins of scarlet white as snow. Who can point a finger at you if the King of Kings has exonerated you?

Be strong, be corageous, and above all never doubt that God is with you and His hand will always be there to hold yours and guide you. Holding guilts is never a way to approach God, guilt is NOT from God. Consciousness of sin is from God, but only just so long as you can repent and ask for His forgiveness and guidance, then it's over. Beyond that, guilt is in itself a sin, because it is saying that you can achieve holiness by yourself instead of depending fully on God's grace. In the case of your marriage, you have nothing to feel guilty about anyway, you didn't break the covenant, he did, and now you are looking for a new, healthy start, with God's full blessing. What anyone on the outside says about it is irrelevant, for this is now between you and God, and it is an excersice in developing true personal relationship and dependance on Him.

Rejoice, for this too shall pass!!

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