Re: serious...need help

Remember what the Bible says about the role of husbands. They are to love their wives as their own bodies; they are also to love their wives in a sacrificial manner as Christ gave himself for the Church. Although your husband has a sad past and probably not much of a role model for the behavior of a Christian husband; the simple fact is that he has not fulfilled the Biblical standard for a Christian husband. If you cannot accept the idea of divorce you can simply separate yourself from him, but you need to get out of harm's way, and you owe it to your children to not expose them to that kind of violent behavior and risk another generation of abusers and abused. If you think you have any kind of chance of his improving you can separate and refuse to have any kind of relationship with him until he undergoes counseling. If he refuses, or the counseling does not help, then divorce may be your only answer. Since you would be doing this to save your life and the lives of your children, I do not believe God will condemn you. He condemns lusting after others and breaking the marriage vows to be faithful to your spouse. Divorce because of your lust or adultery is one thing, divorcing a violent dangerous man is quite another. Pray about this and allow the Bible to speak to you. Sadly some churches lack the compassion to see the whole picture. A young woman at my church is dealing with a similar situation with domestic violence and drug addiction, and some of the men in the church claim its her duty to stay with her husband. I cannot agree with that in her case or yours. Even if it is just a separation and not divorce, you need to remove yourself from danger and allow your husband to decide if he is willing to change. Tweet