Re: Getting off of Xanax and AF recovery failure

Hey dude

I know your pain so much, I feel for you. I to went on valium because of my zero sleep due to AF, and as it was occasional use at first, I didnt know that the crashes i began getting was tolerance withdrawal at the end of the first month. By Christmas, I was a complete mess, and to barely remember anything of the latter half of last year.

Dont blame yourself or your doc for the CT after two weeks, go d I think anyone would think its ok to ct after such a short time.

You didnt confirm that you were the dude doing coffee enemas on Benzo Buddies? (i still cant find Clark as a username)? If you where, I think this might of been half your problem to why things have gotten so bad. With regards to your supps, I personally would start by removing Taurine straight away, although I know how tempting it can be because its so calming, I really believe messing around with neurotransmitters is not a wise thing, you can easily unbalance the rest by increasing one even more so in benzo withdrawal. Replace it with mag oil for the physical symptoms.

Alot of the people on BB dint have AF/CFS before they started, so they can excercise and still do a lot of things in withdrawal that we cant, we no doubt speeds up there recovery. How I have managed to get my brain back (still horrific physical symptoms but like the depersonalisation, hallucinations have healed and panic attacks reduced) was forcing myself to do breathing techniques up to ten times a day for twenty minutes a piece, light 10-20 yoga (Dr Lams number 1 in his series is great for this) and going for walks. Its traumatic at first, and I could only manage ten minutes of the hell after the first month of being bed bound an it was so scary and frightning, but overtime they can be built up and the fear goes. Im up to 45 minutes now before exhaustion kicks in the adrenals go into overdrive, but its improvements. It also helps the anxiety for a while afterwards. Unfortunately the intrusive thoughts are still here, but they where here before the benzos...sleeping is just like a chaos monologue in my mind, its horrible.

One thing I did notice was using Remeron. I needed some sleep last friday, I took a 7.5mg Remeron, I slept and had no anxiety the next couple of days, then it just returned as normal. I really dont want to take another drug, like you I really want to stay drug free, but I cant afford to stay couped up in my house everyday on my own suffering, its destroying me physically, mentally and financially. Maybe its something to try, at least for six months, then taper of f it very slow...I know some of the guys on BB have had success with it?

I dont know how you have managed to keep going for so long, truly remarkable dude, you have such strength and courage, you can make it, dont forget that. Like you,it must be benzo thing, going travelling and leaving the world behind seems like the only thing you want to do..just get up, leave, escape. I cant wait for that day...and to get back into Karate, PArkour, mountain biking...god AF was so so simple in hindsight.

I know the exhaustion stage will come when the anxiety stops and everything stops being revved up (its hell isnt it?)..Ive had a few days this week where I was so tired, I slept bits during the day and felt calmer, although today is not one of those days. Im looking forward to this, I might just sleep all day for months, it will be amazing!