Re: So did your post

sslea---I just noticed what you wrote about your daughter. Things will be better between you and your daughter because you realize what happened to you as a child was wrong. Plus, you have said that you are working toward breaking the cycle. My grandfather was verbally, emotionally and physically abusive toward my mother, aunt and uncle. He would beat them so badly that they sometimes couldn't sit down for a few days. My mother never made any connection to the way she treated her own children to the way she was treated. For example, she would tell me all the horrible things my grandfather said to her and then tell me I was lucky she didn't say those things to me. What she didn't realize was that while she didn't use his exact words, the words she did use were equally as bad. My father (usually under her orders) would beat us with the belt. After which, she would then tell us how lucky we were because he didn't use a razor strap like her father! Both my brothers are verbally abusive to their kids. I've tried pointing out to them that given how we were raised, we should all work to not be abusive to our kids. They both nod in agreement but the cycle of verbal abuse continues in their homes. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you are making a real effort--and good for you! Just remember we are human, thus not perfect. If after a bad day, you lose it and say something you later regret, just apologize to your daughter and be sincere about it. Another thing (you most likely do this already) if you are angry about something your daughter said or did, take the time to calm down before you approach her. Many times I was glad I did this because if I said the first thing that came to mind when I was angry about something my daughter did or said, I know I would have regretted it later. Tweet