Re: This thread really hit home!!

sslea,

By being "terrified", you are feeding his condescending, dominant attitude towards you (not that there is real hope that the relationship will improve). Once an immature person learns that they can get away with something, they will always remember that they CAN (whether male or female, but especially a male who wants to be a "hotshot" and finds women to be an easy and SAFE target [they have no reason to fear retaliation] EVERY DAY and in PRIVATE). It is the person who they have contact with on an ongoing basis and is in a vulnerable position (loved one) who they find to be a SAFE target (starting to have higher self esteem yet?, learn to pity the coward).

Also understand that they will never change (at least not with you, they CAN'T, they just don't have the ability or self respect). Only after they "wallow in the mud" of loneliness (IF they "wallow" at all) will they have the ability to learn to respect a spouse, but he will probably find someone else to abuse and he will most likely NEVER change because he is simply the kind of person who will take advantage of another person's weaknesses. They are "hooked" on their own little ego.

So who is the better person?

Be aware that he has trained you to feel "subordinate", insignificant, and accept mistreatment. You carry that training with you all throughout the day (into daily life).

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