Some thouhgts...

Sad to say why this question has to be.

Sad that we must take math and algebra and 2 languages - yet only (recently) carry an egg and try not to break it for one week as a "parenting class".

Our parents and ourselves, did not have the slightest idea what parenting entailed. We all assume that it will simply come to you, how to love and care and teach and guide. How was I for example - supposed to be a good parent, when my own mom died when I was 2 and my dad as fantastic and wondrous as he was -(I still learn from him each and every day) I only had for 6 years - Where to learn when going from one family to the next? (Much like changing schools mid-term)

Yet, having a child did not require even a permit. But - I could not drive for two years until my "learners permit" was tested out and changed into a valid drivers license. Even my license can be taken away if I do not stick to the rules. Yet being a parent does not even require an aptitude test or questionaire. Becoming a step-parent, does not even require a week of classes or permits or anything at all.

We have children because our mentality is set, it is what we are "supposed to do" or "should do" - I suppose I wanted a child because I wanted to love and be loved, and hug and be hugged and love more than it is possible. All which is true.

However, from that to knowing what being a truly good parent entails, there is a wide chasm that should be closed. By learning about oneself, by learning what is necessary for a child to grow happy, healthy and strong in mind, spirit and body.

One should, when considering having a child, consider who the other parent will be, and what role each will have in the child's life. Do we agree on the principles that we will instill - what about the spiritual well being of that child, what about the emotional well being, what about respect and education and self esteem, how to instill a pure love for themselves. What about the parents ability to pay for an education and how about travel, one of the best educations there are.

The list could grow and grow, in truth, we winged it and did as our parents did: just get by, and in most cases not too well. Our children survived not unscathed, and in retrospect - it is a miracle that they lived to be who they are today.

It should not be a miracle.

Things should change so that future generations don't hate their parents and parents don't have to feel guilt that saps their souls and fills the days with regrets and wishing for time travel to make things right.

If only we could love them more, help them more, teach them more, hug them more, have more time, have more fun.

Many lessons often come once the student has left the home...

I guess this is kind of an apology from a parent.

The children should not have to bring up the parents, but in real life that is what happens a lot: we grow up with our children.

MadArt (ist)



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