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It doesn't have to be "Romantic"
Betrayal runs across the boards
Date: 9/15/2013 5:47:38 AM ( 11 y ) ... viewed 8954 times Walking this Healing Path has brought me to some strange places, and each sidetrack has had "A Lesson" for me, in some way.
I recently discovered that I had been betrayed by my Student Adviser, boss, and Director of a facility where I earned my certification which, oh-by-the-way, is as useless as a fish with a bicycle.
The way that I discovered this was that another former professor was asking me, all summer, about what happened with my Degree - how far was I from earning my degree before I switched my major?
I had previously attended college many years ago, didn't finish up at that time, and the certification that I earned the second time around turned out to be far, far less valuable than I had been led to believe it to be.
To make a long story short, I am literally one class away from having a degree that could have taken me very, very far.
Why this happened is pure speculation. The Director of the facility where I later was employed and instructed had a flagging program - scant (at best) enrollment and extreme expenditures to maintain the facility could have caused her to "pad" her program by advising students to change their majors. It's also very possible that she simply didn't care enough to actually examine my transcripts. Anything is possible. But, what the result is means that I could have graduated with a very specialized degree.
And, yes - I'm going to take that one class and finish up.
But, here's the point that I want to make: disordered or malicious people present patterns in their behaviors. And, because of my lack of boundaries and self-esteem, I gave this Director the cues that she needed to push me around while appearing to be the nicest person alive.
Here are some queues that apply to all people, across the boards:
* criticizes colleagues directly with others (students, employees, etc.)
* generates an atmosphere of "keeping secrets"
* makes promises and follows through on very rare occasions
* will not answer direct questions with direct answers
* engages in questionable activities (deliberately destroying student/colleague work, cooking facility books, etc.)
* fails or refuses to develop policies and/or guidelines
The list could go on, but the gist is that there can be malignant people who are not romantically involved with us. And, these people can cause as much damage as a romantic involvement - they can impact the advancement of others, and manipulate a situation to reflect what "nice" people they are, and what "jerks" their victims are, and make the scenario believable.
I cannot ever express to my "true" professor friend how grateful I am for her concern of me and my situation. Had she not prodded me into looking into my transcripts, etc., I would have gone through the rest of my life believing that I had made some seriously terrible mistakes. YES, I should have asked more questions and done my own research with regard to my degree and earned credits, to be sure. I own some of this situation, too. But, I trusted my Student Adviser to have my best interests in mind, and she didn't.
Moreover, how many other students made the same choices as per the Director's manipulations? "Don't tell anyone what goes on here - keep it secret," was what she once told me. Now, I understand why.
Betrayal can occur on every level. Spiritual. Sexual. Emotional. Physical. Financial. When we recognize that we don't NEED anyone else's approval, acceptance, or validation - that we can provide these things to ourselves - we are far more difficult to target and manipulate by malicious and/or disordered people.
Updates on this situation, as the occur.
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