During this stretch of time, I have been plagued by disturbing, frightening, and terrifying dreams on a regular basis.  Most of the symbolism in these dreams related to the emotional and financial damages that I suffered, and my lack of control.  Other symbolism was directly related to my lack of boundaries and the difficult task of re-learning how to recover and construct boundaries that never existed, before.  All of these "feelings" and hard emotional work were far, far out of my "comfort zone," and I did not (did not) "like" this work, on any level.  It was hard.  It was mean.  It was uncomfortable.  It was alien to me.  But, the "work" has resulted in astounding benefits and a sense of Self that I have never, during my entire lifetime, experienced.

So, with reference to dream-speak, I have had consistent dreams of the exspath driving a vehicle with me riding in the passenger seat.  He was driving towards a cliff, or a rock wall, or some other barrier that, upon impact, was going to cause severe traumatic injury, or death.  These dreams were unsettling and disturbing and clearly a subconscious expression of my feeling that he was "in control" of the marriage, the finances, and the aftermath when I filed for divorce. 

Last night, at long last, I had an empowering dream that I was finally driving myself in my own vehicle and the exspath was NOWHERE in sight.  Other imagery was a clear indication that he is now OUT of the picture, forever, and it was finally (and, I type:  FINALLY) a feeling of satisfaction and empowerment.  I am finally, finally "in recovery."

For those who are still afraid to cut the ties that bind them to a very bad, toxic, and/or sociopathic individual, read these words:  nothing is worth remaining tied to that person.  What you believe that you "love" about that person is illusion - smoke and mirrors.  There is Life After Socipaths, and it is a different "type" of life and living.  It may be out of my comfort zone, but it is where I needed to go to finally become ME.

I'm in recovery.  At long last, I'm finally feeling and believing that I am in recovery.  Thank God - Great Creator - Jehovah - Vishnu - WHOMEVER.! 

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