Just a follow-up on this post.  Codependency can be rewired and managed.  It takes time, patience, and "acceptance" to undertake the rewiring process, but professionals are beginning to recognize neuroplasticity as a healing tool both emotionally, and physically.

Understanding how and why I developed into a codependant individual goes far beyond my childhood traumas - it goes into deep, deep places, but this process isn't going to kill me.  It might be scary, and I may not "like" the facts that I discover about myself, but I cannot argue with the facts, nor can I bargain or negotiate them into being pleasant and comfortable. 

Perfection is a flawed belief - there is no such thing as "perfection."  Not in behaviors, not in beliefs, not in thought processes, and not in cooking - nothing in this Universe is "perfect" other than the mysterious manner by which one thing inevitably impacts another.  From our own vascular systems to the functions of a black hole, everything works in an astounding "harmony," so to speak.  Sometimes, that "harmony" is violent and aberrant, but it "works," nonetheless, whether we human beings understand them, or not.

So, what's the whole point?  The point is to live in this moment.  Live well - meaning to walk our individual Life's Path as we are individually meant to.  Living well doesn't mean amassing tangible items, manipulating outcomes, or ignoring our own foibles.  Living Well means taking it all into account, and fine tuning our individual thinking processes and personal beliefs to live each day in contentment, rather than false hope.  Seeking the approval of others, validation from others, and acknowledgment that we each are "allowed" to simply exist is a foolish waste of time and energy, speaking from my own experiences.  Waiting for someone else to tell me what I "should" believe about myself and my Universe is also another huge waste of time and energy.  I can give myself everything that I need to move through this day in contentment and appreciation, rather than anger, anxiety, and fear.  It just takes time to "get it."

I'd like to see a discussion of trauma and codependency develop on CZ.  There is a Codependency Forum, so that would be the place to start an in-depth discussion.