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Recovery: The Journey
...not the destination
Date: 8/2/2013 9:53:12 AM ( 11 y ) ... viewed 9112 times So, it's been nearly 2 years since I was aware that "something" was wrong in my marriage to the exspath. Since that time, I've experienced some of the most fantastic and unimaginable events. From facing homelessness to living in conditions that challenged my will to survive, I've come a long way.
I'm still reeling from my experiences and I suffer symptoms of PSTD. Sleepless nights, recurring nightmares, hyper vigilance, distrust, and other emotional issues are the norm. But, I'm getting there one tiny step at a time.
Recovery is a journey, not a destination. For those who have experienced life-altering traumas, there will never be a day when we are "cured." The days just become less painful and more agreeable. We find things to be grateful for even when we're starving, freezing, and desperate. We learn to recognize triggers and intercept them. We learn to recognize human predators and toxic individuals without malice, anger, and hatred - we just walk away.
Coming to terms with the facts of my experiences has opened a door to personal issues that I didn't even know existed. In counseling, I learned new vocabulary and terminology that applied to me, specifically, and clearly explained the choices that I'd made throughout my entire life.
It is a challenge to address these issues, to be sure. Spiritually, physically, emotionally, sexually, and financially, I have been exploited and thoroughly dismantled. In the wake of this devastation comes an opportunity. That opportunity exists for me to rebuild myself as I was meant to be, instead of being what I believed others wanted me to be.
I'm reaching for my spirituality, now. I know that there is "Something Greater" than me, out there. Something gave me courage, strength, and fortitude to endure and abide. Although I often found myself begging and pleading for miracles, the "miracles" came as self-realizations that had always been dormant. I had no idea that I had these qualities and strengths, OR that I had the choice to alter core-beliefs and perceptions of myself.
For anyone who is struggling with trauma, this is a truth and fact: you will recover and heal if you make it so. If I could place my feet upon my Healing Path, so will you. In the deepest, darkest, and most terrifying of circumstances, there is a glimmer of light that is kindled within the soul - this is what Great Creator has given you to carry you through the darkest times.
Yes, recovery and healing is a journey, not a destination. Today, I'm grateful to be upright, breathing, and still fighting the "good fight."
http://www.180rule.com
http://www.familyarrested.com
http://www.thehotline.com
http://www.rainn.org
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