Re:I used to be like yr wife and...

Wow. Im still under strong impression from reading this... and other answers, but your strikes me differently.

You've obviously been there. Yes, house is a mess, and if I complain, she blames it on me - then I see she is just being defensive as always and I withdraw.

And, I have changed a bit as far as voicing my anger. That I did maybe a few times before, but not in a right way - now I try to say it exactly as it is, instead of for instance just calling her names (which I did very very rarely anyway).

However, during her pregnancy, I didn't want her to have any stress; I did have to remind her that being pregnant doesn't mean she is dead, and that worked. But I probably lost my newly acquired taste for actually verbally attacking her and demanding answers while sticking to truth. Like "we agreed on this and that, and you are not sticking to that. Why? When will you change that?" and so on.

Today actually I told her that she is not a good mother if she is trying to push her husband away from our child. She had a hard time understanding that. I also told her that if she made it impossible for me to live with her, I will have to leave, get a lawyer and ask for full custody. She got seriously upset at me for even thinking of leaving - she said she'd NEVER leave. I told her - she wouldn't unless I made her... she again didn't get it (she's not dumb, just doesn't care to hear).

I will read your response again, and others too and write some more later, after I digest everything written here.

BTW, thanks GOD for Curezone and you guys/girls! :-)
What I really appreciate is that women are coming out with their experiences and telling me their side of the story, something I couldn't get anywhere. I only hope I can somehow return the favor some day... You're my angels.