Re: you are clearly not the problem

Oh my land o' goshen...

Reading all that was so stressful, now I want some of that cake. What kind was it? Sounds like nobody had time to eat any of it with all this going on.

Seriously, gee...
I can not even imagine what is going on for your wife. Obviously some super vigilant responses around safety for the baby, glass and germs and all, but... sounds like she is in some way kinda pain there.

Back to you, since you're the one writing in.
It's hard to predict the best solution for this, but whatever the future looks like, I truly hope that you can take the best possible care of yourself first. This sounds trite and pat, but really: Dad, being a hero and bringing home fancier bacon isn't gonna make her happy for long. I don't want to hear any more times about you driving 40 miles at dawn to pick up maraschino cherries. Don't you make me shake my finger and look at you funny over my hornrims.

For the day to day, I hope you can get a regular bedtime and make sure that you and your kid get your sleep first. (Thank heavens you and your child have a good rapport.) For your own sake, bring some good hearty food to those late shifts so you're not coming home all hungry.

Do you have rational adults to talk to? I don't mean ordinary venting, but really balanced people with some wisdom? Al-Anon sponsor, minister, somebody.

We have plenty of proof now that your wife is upset. So maybe the next thing is to pay a little less attention to sharp words or moods or festive nightwear; it might mean you're too busy packing yourself meatball heroes for the office. Or whatever.

That doesn't mean you're supposed to do nothing to change things! But whatever the changes, I suspect that one first step is to store up some equanimity for yourself so you're not fainting from stress. Let us know how you do with that.

Sorry about this, keep letting us know how you are.

Autumn