one more thing

does your wife act this way in front of your baby now? she sounds like she has not much control. i worry about your child, whether your wife directs her hate at your kid later in life or not, your kid is still going to see her doing this to you. this could be very dangerous behaviour for your child to watch and LEARN. she may see how calm and logical, and understanding and kind you are, but you're still with your wife, and you're still going to be putting up with it (assuming nothing changes, hopefully things will) therefore she's most likely going to think that the way she treats you is okay too. it's not. just my 2 cents.