Re: I was sexualy abused by an uncle when I was just 4 or 5 years old.

Hi #23435. I can relate to your situation. And I hope I can help you by sharing my past. I also was sexually violated by an uncle when I was around 5 years old. And like you I also couldn't remember which uncle it was. I just have it boiled down to two. Oh well. The point is, I believe when children are violated at such an early age it actually engages a sexual curiosity and arousal which should have not been awakened.
The rest of my story is this, I also when I was 12 years of age touched and tried to stimulate my cousins private parts. I felt shame about this as well and thankfully I didn't do anything more; however I know that sexually I was confused. I didn't respect myself as I matured in life and was taken advantage of many times. I even thought I was gay for a while because of confusion. I am also glad I didn't act on that one. I have sinced married and have a great family. I however have taken responsibility and asked forgiveness also. What I find is that the hardest person to forgive is ourselves. But the truth is that if God (who is perfect in love) forgives us, why shouldn't we forgive ourselves? Forgiveness is a choice and of course we know that if the enemy can keep us in unforgiveness (even towards ourselves) then he has a hook in us to bring torment.

I would suggest that you forgive yourself no matter how many times you have to. Also a good confession of what the word of God says about who you are is a good way to positively position you for renewing your mind with the truth. Our sins shouldn't separate us from God, but drive us into His loving arms. He isn't a religious fanatic,( unlike some people would have you think) he really is the most loving, upbeat fun and relational God there is. He doesn't get bummed. Most of all if you pour out this matter to Him and ask him to take away your anger, unforgiveness and pain, he will. But you have to do this for yourself. Just being real with God like you would any person is the best way to get to know him and learn to hear his heart towards you. I hope this helps. He has forgiven you. There is much ahead for you to do. I will pray for you. Because I understand the torment that this type of situation can bring. The other thing I understand is that this is just how p 0 r n o g r a p h y, child molestation, incest gets started or keeps getting passed on .. From wounded people wounding others. And not repenting but getting caught in this addictive behavior. And becoming consumed by it, but again this is also bondage. And we have deliverance from all bondages through Jesus suffering and death in exchange for our life and freedom.

One other thing I would like to mention, Theophostic prayer is quite effective in removing the pain and lies from trauma events in our past. Sometimes when we are stuck we need some help. I have been going for almost a year every other 2nd or 3 rd week. My husband has said he has seen more change in me this last year than he has from all the previous years he has known me.

So don't be afraid to check out www.theophostic.com and find out who you could go to in your area. Mine was free.

I thought this was a divine appointment as I don't usually read someone's testimony that sounds exactly like mine. Please be encouraged you have a destiny to go for. Please read what the bible has to say about you. You are a conquerer,an overcomer, on top and not on the bottom and a lover of God! Blessings are coming your way!! Remember we all fall from time to time, but get up receive your forgiveness and continue on. He has sought you out! Tweet