Crashes are now so severe - this is new to me - is this a crash?

Hi all

So over the past three months Ive been getting worse and worse. I only really noticed around christmas, and since then its been a living hell.

Im finding these new 'crashes' are almost unbearable to manage, iill admit, ive been at the point of suicide on numerous occasions, even writing all the letters and signing off parts of my life.

Basically, my brain can never shut down, these isnt a new things, its aways been the way over the past years but the process now is far worse...I have just come off a low dose course of diazepam (10mg twice a week) and the withdrawalsf from that were hell, even at that dose.

One night, I wont sleep. I'll go to sleep for an hour, then be tossing and turning with anxiety like adrenaline all night. The next day ill feel fine, full of energy, but then the hunger will come, the extreme cold, the muscle cramping in my shoulders, the general feeling awful...ill manage it throughout the day, then at night, my head will start spinning out of control, i'lll be so tired but wired, ill barely be able to stand because of the tiredness but my mind and heart will still be racing.

I keep alternating sleep meds because I just dont sleep,not in the slightest. Trazodone only puts me out for an hour, herbal remedies do nothing at all (beliveve me ive tried everything) when the crash happens I have to take a cocktail of remeron, trazodone, elavil...sometimes zopiclone just to get a few hours, and it seldom works anyway. So i think, this isnt the best to do, so...

Although I dont want to do it, I really think im going to have to go down the SSRI route before I actually do top myself. The main choices are Celexa (citalapram) and Flouextine (prozac). Im thinking prozac because I really need to smile. I know its not the answer but otherwise I think I will end up in a box.

Also to add, this is Post lams protocol (made me worse) and im sending off for an NB hair test today. I also do daily meditation, yoga, NB slow oxidiser diet, no caffiene, sugar,nocotine etc autogenic training and mindfulness classes, but my focus is seconds rather than minutes, my brain just cannot stand still.

Any helps guys would be amazing! Tweet