Re: Absolutely, Sparque!

Untrained, these are the thoughts that jump into my head...

Perhaps the 13-year-old is simply embarrassed that she spoke as candidly as she did with you...or trying to demonstrate her feelings among her peers...or seeing the limitations of 'the system'...or copying someone else.

Once I read that there are three levels of divorce...

...The divorce between the two people,

...The divorce within the family, and,

...The divorce as it appears to the community.

That description helped me see the in's and out's of troublesome times in my own life.


Beyond that, I reason that you mustn't be the first counselor to have a natural 'connection' with their clients.

What do advanced professionals suggest should be done in cases where the counselor and client have human 'rapport'? Or, is that a controversial question?


I completely agree with SoulfulSurvivor that counselors MUST be protected. And I know that 'the system' is fraught with difficulties of many kinds.

Perhaps you are confronted with those difficulties before you are ready to solve them.


I do know this, from the vantage point of age...all of our questions are eventually answered, and quite simply. ...But, that is very hard to accept as fact when feelings are sore.

I wonder if counselors could communicate the limits of 'the system' and of counselors, themselves, to their clients...and point out that all healing/'curing' lies within the client, themselves. (I think that this would need to be done in the fewest words possible, so as to not throw the client into more puzzles.)

...That you are only there to listen...to be their 'sounding board'...and to suggest possibilities they may not have heard about.


Isn't it the 'feelings' we all must deal with, as the events of life happen, that cause the most trouble?

If your clients believe that 'answers' will come, from within, as they make their choices...and you give them simple exercises to relax 'feelings' they dislike, in the meantime...isn't growth/healing inevitable?

I'm thinking that there is great relief in doing something well...even if it is only a small 'something'.

A fellow with a leg injury, sent his significant other away when he wanted to prove to himself that he could give himself a bath. She would have helped him wonderfully, but he knew he would feel great by accomplishing the bath, alone.

Such a simple thing, but so rewarding. Maybe this is a need of all people...to do a little something for themselves.

When I whacked that newspaper against my kitchen counter, I learned that I can affect my own feelings. No, the 'awful' feelings weren't entirely gone...but I had definitely added something different, in that little bit of laughter that had bubbled up from the silliness of the action.

Maybe that's why sports and art and music and home economics and shop have been added to school curriculums...a variety of useful diversions from the three R's.

Maybe all children need something simple to show them they have more in them than they yet guess.

How about a 'steam-blower' exercise for every client who wants to see you, like a 'pillow punch'? ...Or, bring an extra pair of socks, and hand-wash the ones you are wearing...with praise from you? ...Or, draw me an abstract of your feelings, and we'll burn it together, sight unseen? ...Or, comb your hair into a different style, just for a moment, have a laugh (even if you don't feel like it), and put your hair right, immediately? ...Or, make a silly face in a hand-mirror...even privately, make yourself give me a grin, and then we'll talk?

Silly ideas, from out here in the cheap seats.

I read that no one can cry for very long...that it is a physical impossibility. Something occurs to the person that diverts their attention.

I figure that we must feel guilty, or embarrassed, or something, at forgetting our feelings of the 'awfulness' of events, to remind ourselves to cry again.

Age has freed me of the need to feel guilty, embarrassed, 'bad', or anything else that our 'culture' suggests. I figure I am one of the lucky ones...I like myself, no matter what. I find life, all of life, and all people, very interesting.

And, if I don't 'gel' with them, I go elsewhere. I don't 'have to' be in any situation I don't care for...there is always a way to be where I prefer, if only in my mind. I don't have to reply to others' every statement and question and action.


Golly gee, I hope there is something that helps you, here, Sparque.

You are a dandy counselor, born to it, if you really feel like it.

Although I can see you doing a dozen other jobs, and probably many more, associated with interests in your life I haven't heard about.

You have a fine mind...and all your ducks in a row. You can steer your life in any direction.

Go, girl!

Fledgling





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