Re: Wow~ Here's someone who has actually gone through rape....please listen.

Well, for one....
I have experienced rape on a very personal level,myself and I was 13 at the time.
Some women who get raped will only talk to one person and will only open up when it's safe for them. I kept my secret for about 8 years before I met someone who I knew I would be able to trust enough to let in. People asked what's wrong and yeah some people thought I needed help but didn't know why. You are qualified enough to help her. She needs you to be there for her to trust. When she lets her guard down, she'll open up to you. When she opens up you can then talk about further action that she wants to take. Some women don't.
I was scared mindless of the person that raped me because I knew him and saw him on a daily basis. He was my neighbor. And was for the following 3 years.

Please saty by her side whether you are comfortable with it or not. She needs you and you may the only person who can really help her psychologically. I wouldn't even talk to dr.'s about it, I tried but got the "I know how you must be feeling" deal. I couldn't even tell you how upset I was to hear it come out of his mouth. I asked him if he had even been raped....guess what the answer was?!!! Later,I somehow felt as if the only way I could deal with it was writing in my journal and staying to myself.

When I met the person that I opened up to, it was very gradual. Other people that I would see if I trusted enough would say something like "Anything that happened I know what you're going through". That is such B.S. People who say they know what they are going through really has no idea what so ever unless they actaully have.
It just kills me to hear it almost everyday now.

So stay with her. Let her trust you.....she obviously thinks she can trust you so far since you are the only person she will talk to.

Don't tell her that "You know how she feels" or "I know what you are going through". The trust issue will more than likely slip right out of your touch.

Oh and yeah, you should let her know some things about your experience in that area. Not too much detail though, it may make her more upset or bring back harmful memories.

I wish you both the best of luck.


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