Edited

the point as i see it... being an alcoholic or drug addict is a blessing rather than a curse... because it makes one have to face the facts... or die... and as a result i learned that my "DIS-EASE" with life was not what i thought it was at all... but rather one of a "SPIRITUAL" nature...

the liquor... the wine... the beer... the drugs... were just means of escape... only the escape was always short lived... for the next day... or whenever... i would have to sober up and face the world again... which meant that i was even worse off than before... and it seemed to be an never ending spiral... going constantly downward... and i know beyond a shadow of a doubt that i would have surely died just as my two best friends died because they continued to drink...

all my life i never seemed to fit in... never... i could be in a crowded elevator and feel dreadfully... desparately alone... i always felt and emptiness within me that was indescribable... and i surely didn't fit into any religions... i just couldn't believe or swallow their BS... but through the love and support of AA i was allowed to find God of my own understanding... i was helped to find freedom from my worse enemy... and enemy i never ever would have realized was "me"... it was my own 'self/ego' that had been destroying me all along...

i only wish that everyone (especially you) could find what i have found... it saddens me deeply... that most people are so caught up (captured) by their own concepts... belief systems... that they never... ever... discover who they truly are... and totally miss out on what life was truly intended to be...

i'll keep you in my prayers...
take care...
God bless...