Re: I did split!

My dear anonimous friend,

Your thoughts during your marriage reflect mine exactly. And after pondering all the angles, including not only the spiritual but even possible carmic lessons and connections, you sooner or later start thinking about yourself.

I think that what makes this whole thing harder is that I have advanced on some personal lever quite a lot during and after the therapy. I wasn't like I was a nutcase, or a maniac, just that T.A. helped me get out of the "box".

And that's where the "problem" is - you learn to say "I". Or - "I learned to say "I".
:-)

But she didn't. So while I am seeing our relationship for what it is - a codependency forced on me thanks to her inability to trully love and my patience, she is not seeing anything. She can only feel, and she knows it's not good. But she has no means of ratioanly coming to a conclusion, it seems, so she rushes into conclusions. And conclusions revolve around everything either being my fault, or being her hopeless problem that she best hide from everyone. Depending on the mood, she swings from one to the other; I think she mostly thinks it's all her "fault" (as if she's "broken"). In her words - "I f...ed up"

And that's where I start thinking how much good is this doing to her at all and to me too...

Thank you very much for sharing your experience with me!