I did split!

Dear Friend,

I was aprox. 7 years with a woman very very similar to the one you are now with.
I was very much in love with her in the beginning, she had good qualities too: she looked very beautiful to me, could laugh and be cheerful, but slowly slowly I realised that the problems and confrontations were every time bigger and clearly saw that they will not be solved… whatever the means we would try.

The question to myself was: do I want this? Is it healthy for me in the first place? The answer was: no.

I tried many many times to have enough patience, even to contemplate the whole thing as a devise to exercise my patience and my capacity to understand other human being.

And tried to understand the whole situation: Why do I meet such a person? What do I have to learn in this relationship? It was very difficult to find the answer, I believe now, the whole thing most probably had to do with something that remained incomplete in the past (I mean, previous lives) because in this life I could no see the meaning, except for the clarity I gained for myself for the decision I did take to split. It was my decision and that kept me sane, because I had a plan and a way to get out of the insolvable problem, I was not a victim of the situation anymore.

It was a good decision, It was something I needed to do for myself, something I ought to do to respect myself.

It was even good for her. She met months later another man, who had more money than me and probably even more patience than me and that relaxed her in some way, and from what I get, she is now slowly slowly getting better, but her main tendency is still there. I wish her the best from my very heart.

So my message to you is: be selfish here, do in the first place what is good for you. We don’t need to suffer, we are not here to be victims of somebody’s crazy behaviour, we can decide for freedom with love and respect for the other. And, you know, in my story, doing the best for me, wasn’t really bad for her.

Best wishes.