I have to agree with most of your message.
I sense when ever there is an imbalance- there is a power struggle. If the man is taking too much, or not giving enough- and vice versa- then there WILL be problems.
This is an issue which needs careful consideration in order to have a well rounded, full relationship.
There must be set "rights" over one another.
In islam there is. each one has a set of responsibilities and if there is a problem it can be tracked down and settled.
Above all - kindness. so simple and so disregarded.