Re: I just want my life back

I feel your pain. Honestly, I do. I was diagnosed with Depression at 14, although I had suffered for years before that. I missed two weeks of school in the 8th grade because I was terrified of people in general. If a kid spoke to me at school I didn't respond out of fear. This gave people the impression I was stuck up, unfortunately. I didn't even want to go to my mailbox because I had the feeling everyone was staring at me. At 14 I attempted suicide for the first time, although half-heartedly. I think I was wanting help more than dying. During the rest of my teenage years I had that nagging, anti-social, paranoid feeling. I would have near panic attacks if I had to make a presentation in class. I resorted to smoking weed and drinking alot to numb those feelings. Didn't work, the marijuana made me even more paranoid...I consider those my dark years.

I have gone to counselors off and on for years and have been put on Zoloft for the depression/anxiety. This helps to an extent, but it is still there. I think working outside the home helps in a way. I work with customers all day so I HAVE to get out of my shell to make a living. Plus, I have accepted Jesus Christ into my heart and that has healed me more deeply than any drug or counselor. No human being should have any sort of power over you, period.

I wish I had some words of wisdom to help you through this but all I have is my own life experience. Just know you are not the only person that is/has gone through this. I know I lived through that hell and came out better on the other side. You are more than welcome to email me if you want to talk about things.

Take care sweetie! Tweet