None of which plausibly explains why he hasn't produced the real deal

Their "personally verified" statement that the health department holds Obama's original birth certificate somehow means they haven't "seen" it.  Or that they're lying about it?

If given a choice I would choose lying.  However, I would point out what should be obvious.  They said that they personally verified it.  That could mean that they actually saw it, though not necessarily.  What they did not state - and the exclusion is glaring to me - is that they HAD PERSONALLY SEEN THE ORIGINAL AND THAT IT STATED THAT OBAMA WAS BORN IN HAWAII.  The kind of statement they made is typical of one that leaves an out for the old plausible deniability ploy.  For example, "I verified that the original certificate was on file by having a staff member check it.  I never actually saw the certificate and did not know what was on it.  I remind you that my statement was only that I had personally verified that the document was on file."

That is kind of like Clinton saying "I did not have sex with that woman" and then later defining sex as not including "oral sex".

Your logic is very twisted Tony. 

No, the only logic that is twisted is the logic of those who try to explain away why Obama has not simply produced the original certificate - which would list not only his actual place of birth, but also the hospital and attending physician, which in turn could be verified by their records.  Doing so would pretty much quiet all the speculation and it would be easy for him to do so.  So why hasn't he?  Why has he instead produced something deemed to be merely "good enough" to skate by instead of the real deal?

Do you think that ol' Barry might have taken notes about what happened in Watergate when a cover-up gets out of hand? The more you disclose, the harder it is to keep the lid on.  What we need is another "deep throat".  And I'm not referring back to Clinton.

When it comes to something that is merely "good enough" for an employer, well I contend that the American people are his employer (or should be).  And this American does not accept a computer generated COLB as good enough.

How about those hidden school and other records, huh?  Or the statements of his grandma and Kenyan officials?

Bush not only hid his cocaine use, he also hid his AWOL episodes. Yes I do live in Texas.   As a real Texan, I don't accept the Kennebunkport carpetbagging Bushes as real Texans. Yeah, ol' Dubya may have been born in Texas, but as the saying goes: A cat can have her kittens in the oven, but that doesn't make them biscuits.