whopper

that statement caused me to feel an emotional plume of confusion

now i am crying because i got saved when i was a kid and couldn't feel a change
so i rededicated my life and still didn't feel a change
so i asked to be rebaptized because i was afraid it was because the first time i got baptized i got the giggles
still no change

and when i got sick and found bloodroot i got down on my knees and gave my life to Jesus again, because the Native Americans say it will save the life anyone who's given their life to Christ

the bloodroot has bought me some time, quality time, but i am still afraid to die

all of this make me want to cry
was I born ok the first time?
obviously not, or i wouldn't be so afraid to die
does Jesus not want me?

an (ex)friend of mine (who dumped me and informed me that it is because i am toxic) says that she saw Jesus face in the clouds and he gave her to the veragi (sp?) masters

alls i know is that i feel most nearest to being changed or saved whenever i am chanting with the hindus

and it scares the pee doppin doodle dee crud out of me because i was raised baptist and they say Jesus is the only way to get to heaven