A little scold and an ever so firmly, quick little pat on the rear is not violence. When my grandson was here, he was a little hyperactive. Once he did something I did not know whether he even knew whether it was right or wrong, so I said, "If you do that again I'm going to spank you." There were three other little instances where I knew he knew better. I said in a firm tone (not yelling) "You know better than that!" as he got his ever so firmly, quick little pat on the rear. Shortly after the third pat, he said, "I love you, Grandma". So this proves that children need some stabibility in their lives. Just like your son straightened up when you mentioned his dad.