This is unfortunate

This response is unfortunate as we all know that human beings can (and, DO) have sex with anyONE and anyTHING - the issues at the core of the original poster's concerns are not about sex: lack of sexual intimacy is just a symptom of the dysfunction.

For women, the prospect of "pleasing her man" for the rest of her life is not pleasant. What about HER pleasure? Where do HER needs and wants fit into the relationship? Why is this so difficult to understand: sex does NOT equal love and intimacy. Using such crass terms to define what the original poster is seeking only further bolsters her fears that something is missing, something is wrong, and it just might be that she is uncomfortable in getting into a costume and PRETENDING to be something that she isn't in order to "f*ck" her husband. The orignal poster doesn't necessarily WANT a simple f*ck - she may want intimacy and emotional support.

There are definitely deeper dynamics affecting the original poster's partnership and why the intimacy of a partnership should fall upon the shoulders of EITHER individual is unrealistic. It takes two to tango and, without communication, trust, and respect, all of the sexy lingerie in the world isn't going to alter the core issues of a dysfunctional union.