"If people choose to use me and take advantage of me I view it as their problem."
No, it's actually your problem. I recommend the book Self Matters.
"Maybe that's wrong but I've seen the bad side of life and I can't change and really don't want to change anyway."
Perhaps you and your wife deserve each other.
"If I've helped her discover who she really is and what life is really all about it really doesn't matter that I suffer a bit of heartache about it. There's much worse things in life and much more suffering in life than my little ole hurt feelings."
Oh, but you see it's not just you it affects. You go into forums and post things against women: