Expand 20 messages, 1 to 20 of 78 
#40679
17 y
7,087
† Cross †
- Re: #77290 - thank you -???- AHarleyGyrl
17 y
5,863
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine
Free S&H.Restore lost reserves.J.CROW’S®Lugol’s Iodine Solut...
Mercury Detox
Dental work and fillings, not a problem.
This is a reply to # 1,005,243I don't think it is a matter of blaming yourself or women, really. When dealing with women or anyone else in life, if they like what you do they will respond positively. If they don't, they will respond negatively or give you no response. If they do the latter, they are most likely someone you do not need to be around. I am not so much offended by what you wrote, as I was trying to help; That's all.
- Relationships - For #77290 AHarleyGyrl
17 y
5,698
- Re: Relationships - For #77290 worm infested troll
17 y
5,814
This is a reply to # 1,005,529Dear Fellow Healers of these dangerous gaps that are deffinately in place between Men and Woman
Thank You all so richly in Your braveity and tonasity here...These gaps between Men and Woman are dangerous shaky ground, slippery sloopes, and, uncharted waters...
Most people who succeed in "relationship," succeed because they have become masters of avoiding these gaps...which can make for alot of indercurrent, repressed, rage.
There is only ONE way to even HOPE to Heal these deep gaps that have been in place between Men and Woman all of this time here on Earth, these are ANCIENT, gaps...that are NOW so inflamed that they can appear and even ARE, "almost," impossable to Heal.
To Heal these gaps, INTENT on the part of BOTH partys MUST be FIRMLY ESTABLISHED AS THE GOAL HERE ...There MUST be an agreement made between BOTH partys, to go to these deep and loveless gaps, where NO Love Lives....ARMED ONLY with LOVEING intent to HEAL all of these horrable misunderstandings and distrust inflamed, judgements, and issues....and all the while profoundly realizeing that ULTIMATELY We, as Himans, are only reflecting these gaps that are REALY between Our Own divorced original Parents, "God and Mother/God" who have been torn apart sence before any of Us can just barely remember....cept when Our Hearts Break....that is when we subjectively remember that We USED to have a Mother and Father who Loved Us....and Each Other.
I cry like a Baby...now...just to remember how it used to be
but...i digress
The ONLY literature that i know of that offers a COMPLEET Healing of "relationship," process is the MAGNIFICENT "right use of will books"....I can not even emagine anyone actually HEALING these ANCIENT and IMPRINTED, gaps that are now in place between Men and Woman....with out FIRST haveing read these books...and worked this process.
http://www.rightuseofwill.com
These are a series of channeled books who's scorce is Our NEWLY re-united Original Parents, "Spirit and Will,"
Healing the gaps between Men and Woman is a long and TERRIFYING process and My DEEPEST respect goes out to ALL who attempt this extreemly dangerous and unpresidented work
Love and ONLY Love
WIT
- Re: Relationships - For #77290 worm infested troll
17 y
5,814
- Re: #77290 - thank you want2beclean
17 y
6,685
RRR
This is a reply to # 1,004,614I read this whole thread, and kinda deep-sighed over some of this, and felt that I wanted to add to it. I have read several self-deprecating statements that you have written, and these statements are very familiar to me, as I spoke in the language that you use for years. I will give you an example, and mind you, I am paraphrasing:"I am such a nice guy, and women don't appreciate it *deep sigh*, I don't care a thing about myself, just so SHE'S happy *deep sigh*, I know, I know, it's all my fault, I should know better, but I don't, I am just a man *deep, sad sigh*,I will simply carry on with the burden of being such a noble, yet misunderstood person *deeeeep sigh,all air gone from the lungs, head down*". This is very noble martyrdom, and demonstrates a deep underlying issue.I was the female version of you. For many years I was anger and pain disguised as the Nice Girl Who Just Wanted Happiness for Others and was So Misunderstood. Translate into reality: Martyr. My "suffering" looked commendable to the people around me. I got a lot of pity from friends when I would sadly relate how he just couldn't accept the niceness and love that I gave to him. I had the constant attention and sympathy of others for my long-suffering. It looks good, but looking back, I made myself, my friends and even my mate miserable. He was a cheater, lacking in intimacy and fidelity, true, but I look back and know that even HE didn't deserve my *deep sighing* and *long suffering* - what an irritating twit I must have been.
"I apologize if I have offended the women of the world. I am just a man."
Now that is one big boo-hoo statement, and if you are like I was, you are not REALLY, sincerely apologetic, you are simply hanging on the cross again. And with the nails of self-pity in your hands and feet, you are unable to move to change. All you can do is hang there with your sad Eeyore face on, big sad eyes looking down at the ground. The posters here specifically told you that we are not offended, yet you are still saying I am sorry, and that is a martyrs' mode of operation. "I am just a man" (read in adjectives: lowly, unworthy, incapable of rising above gender ideas), and that is another self-depracating statement.
Now, before you start to think I am against you, or that you offended me, let me state this as clearly as I can. I am NOT chastising you with any malice. The best friends that a person can have are the ones that tell you the truth about you. So you have lots of friends on Curezone! What I am saying to you I am saying because I have had the experience of being a "nice person victim", and the quality of my life and the lives of people around me suffered. I sighed and stayed in unhappy situations a long long time, and people eventually move away from a Long Sufferer. If you do not get a handle on this behavior, you will be unable to find someone who actually appreciates the good things you have - because you can't have this attitude and behavior with someone who does. You will attract people who will use the hell out of you because if you have someone who doesn't then how can you *deep sigh, contemplate your nice guy belly-button* and APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR EXISTANCE?
My hope for you is that you recognize this passive-agressive victim stance that you take, and take the steps toward change, so that your story will have a happy ending. If you go to the Pearly Gates, do you think They will ask you "how long and hard did you suffer?" or "did you enjoy and make use of the precious life I gave you - did you have FUN?"
You cannot have the Sponsoring Thought "I am insufficiently equipped for relationship" and have a real relationship. It is impossible. It is spiritual law.
So in a way, you are right. You ARE responsible for the failed relationship. But that is simply because of physics. You believe in failed relationship, and work very hard (don't give me the i am a nice guy stuff) to make them fail. You attract, ask your Self why. And guess what - there is a woman on the other side, who is responsible for the failed relationship, TOO. Her selfishness or frigid attitudes are the PERFECT accompaniment for your Sponsoring Thoughts. Change those thoughts, allow yourself to forgive yourself, practice not being such a Pitifully Nice Guy ( be nice, just stop doing it like 'look at meeee, look how good i am, look,look i'm nice), stop bearing niceness like an albatross around your neck and celebrate the quality of nice, and you will attract nice. Once you stop despising niceness and seeing it as weakness, things will change. It has to, it is spiritual law.
Ok, that is my long-winded statement. Think about it.-
Re: #77290 - thank you AHarleyGyrl
17 y
6,007
Lugol’s Iodine Free S&H
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine Solution. Restore lost reserves.
Mercury Detox
Dental work and fillings, not a problem.
Clarkia Extra Strong
Clarkia Tincture 2 oz, 4 oz, 8 oz, and 16 oz
This is a reply to # 1,005,803"What I am saying to you I am saying because I have had the experience of being a "nice person victim", and the quality of my life and the lives of people around me suffered. I sighed and stayed in unhappy situations a long long time"
Me, too, just got out of 5 years of doing that. In relationships like that, things never change until you get out. You drive all your friends and family nuts because they can't understand why you would give and give to someone who only takes.
One thing the poster also does is make generalizations, that all men cannot figure out what women want and what makes them happy. At the same time he blames himself only.
- Re: #77290 - thank you - to continue #77290
17 y
5,982
This is a reply to # 1,005,864You people are pretty cool. Thank you much for all your posts.
Here's what I think happened. When I returned from the war I realized love was the answer. So if anything happened I put too much of my heart into things. Heart is what built my business, all my relationships and the success I've had in life.
But its a two edged sword. Sure I made a lot of money but I didn't really care about that, it was the love that was important. The heart stuff.
Well, what I learned is: if you don't care about it, for sure there are plenty of other folks around that care very much about it. So, in a back door kinda way it is my fault. I just never cared that much about money and the material things in life. To this day love is still the answer in my heart and mind. That people are so preocupied with money and the "things" in life is confonding to me. But they are. And I wasn't. Soooooo. I deserve my fate.
And I was sick for quite a long time which is a huge preoccupation on my part. I literally didn't have the ability to make those judgement calls back then. They said they loved me and I believed it. I was too busy just trying to stay alive to look real close at it.
But now that my health has returned all these things are smacking me right in the face. I blew it big time. But my heart was always in the right place. And that's probably what saved me.
The girls were in it for the money because I simply didn't care about it. Of course they really didn't love me and consequently took themselves out of my life. They couldn't lie to themselves for that long. So it all worked out.
But to this day I have trouble being concerned about the material side of life. Money and "things". They are so transiant - love is forever.
So, I've taken my lumps, not on a matyrdom level but just because love is the answer and all else just can't measure up.
I vented my frustrations at the beginning of this forum. And again I appologize for that. It was my fault, I didn't have the ability to protect myself from those type of people.
Perhaps now that my health is back I can put all that behind me and go back to the love I knew in my youth before the war and being sick. This time I'll be able to see whether they're in it for love or the material things.
And that's another thing. Since being healthy I find myself thinking about the love of my youth more and more. Perhaps that's a good sign. We never really officially broke up. I went away, we were both young, it just kinda fell apart. There was no knock down, drag out fight to announce the end of the relationship.
By the time I got back it was too late, even though we both knew the sparks were still there. Everyone else in the room could sense it and knew it too. But I went away again to finish college and that was that. To this day the sparks are still there with both of us. But.............
So anyway, Thank you all very much for your kind and generous remarks, ideas, and thoughts. And references. I do appreciate it.
I guess I'm going to have to care about all those material things now. Put some love into that side of it also.
Again, Thank You!!!
- Re: #77290 - thank you - to continue LuellaMay
17 y
5,847
MoreThis is a reply to # 1,006,018
Bless your heart.... You have touched my heart. I can't find your initial post, so I will respond here. Yes, go back to your first love. Maybe that's what you were supposed to do in the first place.
Reading this post, I thought I was reading about myself, but I get the impression you are younger than I am?
First of all, love IS the most important thing in the world, in everything you do. The problem with those of us that live with our hearts on our sleeve is that we don't pay too much attention to material things, like money.
Don't be too hard on yourself. You are healthy. This is the most important factor. You can regain your wealth.
" I guess I'm going to have to care about all those material things now. Put some love into that side of it also "
Well said. I need to learn that lesson too.
Hugs,
Luella
- Atta Boy!!!! Alikat
17 y
5,914
MoreThis is a reply to # 1,006,018This is exactly what we've been wanting to see:
""Perhaps now that my health is back I can put all that behind me and go back to the love I knew in my youth before the war and being sick. This time I'll be able to see whether they're in it for love or the material things.""
Kudos, good for you!!! You may just have to start being real tough with Mrs. 77290. She either shapes up or shapes out. Be unyielding when you hand out the dictum and don't accept any crocodile tears of manipulation and control, say what you mean and mean what you say. With all that you have gone through, your sensitivity, willingness to share, kindness and insights, you should now be able to attract some wonderful, mature woman who truly loves and appreciates you for who you are. Perhaps the packaging may not be that of a Ford model, but real quality can be very sexy. There are plenty of these women around, but you need to be wise about 'where' you go to find them.
Many blessings to you and thank you for sharing such an intimate and vulnerable part of your life with us. I hope we have helped towards your continued growth and that our genuine good intentions are the only thng that stands out in your mind as you contemplate this exchange.
- Meet Cupid With A Sledgehammer AHarleyGyrl
17 y
6,066
This is a reply to # 1,006,018
"Perhaps now that my health is back I can put all that behind me and go back to the love I knew in my youth before the war and being sick. This time I'll be able to see whether they're in it for love or the material things."
That is the right track to be on. You are not getting any younger..get out of your toxic relationship.
Love is a game. We may not like it, but such is life. Some get lucky and find each other with no problem and fall madly in love in one day and live happily ever after.
For most of us..you have to show a little interest, but then when you have their attention, you have to act like you can take it or leave it. It's not easy, it's a fine line, you show too little interest and they don't pursue anything..you show too much and it can turn them off and drive them away. Overall, know that people like confident people. If you approach new love interests and disclose all your woes and shortcomings, it will almost certainly end in failure. Live in the present.
"The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it." - Michaelangelo
Recently, I learned some things from Patti Novak http://www.aetv.com/confessions-of-a-matchmaker/confessions_pattis_tips.jsp. She's brilliant!
- Re: Meet Cupid With A Sledgehammer #77290
17 y
5,992
Lugol’s Iodine Free S&H
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine Solution. Restore lost reserves.
Clarkia Extra Strong
Clarkia Tincture 2 oz, 4 oz, 8 oz, and 16 oz
Mercury Detox
Dental work and fillings, not a problem.
This is a reply to # 1,006,538Seems to me somewhere in Scripture it says "Return to the love of your youth".
I've never had a problem playing the game. When I was single I never got into that crying on your shoulder crap. Just trying to have some fun, enjoying life.
I wouldn't date the same girl more than twice a month. No sex or intimacy at all. Had about 6 girls I rotated though. Sounds bad doesn't it. But I like the finer restuarants in town and like going places and doing things. And I enjoy friendly female companionship. So I didn't go too far with any of them. No sex. I had a lot of fun with them and they had a lot of fun with me. They are all still good friends of mine to this day.
I can do that but I'm waiting for that youth love again. That's where I was headed when the war came along. I can see now that I was indeed lucky to have the in love experience. We were only together 3 years but man, it was GREAT.
What do you think? Think I'll be able to have that again? Maybe, just could happen. Someone once said: "if you want to make it to the top of that pine tree you better shoot for the stars".
I'll shoot for the stars.
Thanks for all your help and advise. I'll see you up around scerius(sp). You know, that bright star just east of Orions belt.
Cupid with a sledgehammer - that's good, real good...
Thanks again
- Re: Meet Cupid With A Sledgehammer AHarleyGyrl
17 y
5,973
This is a reply to # 1,006,698
"I've never had a problem playing the game. When I was single I never got into that crying on your shoulder crap."
I wouldn't date the same girl more than twice a month. No sex or intimacy at all. Had about 6 girls I rotated though. Sounds bad doesn't it. But I like the finer restuarants in town and like going places and doing things. And I enjoy friendly female companionship. So I didn't go too far with any of them. No sex."Your sentences seem like a total oxymoron to me. It doesn't sound like playing the game at all. It sounds like avoidance behavior. I am going to be very honest with you, I think you could use a good Psychologist. I am not at all convinced you can get and maintain a normal healthy love relationship with a woman on your own without professional help. If you try, you may end up upset with women again.
If you do get a chance, watch Confessions of a Matchmaker. She can be brutal, but she gets results. And, go to her site and read her tips. She really knows her stuff
Avoidance behavior : behavior that postpones an aversive event thereby escaping from the conditioned aversive stimuli; conditioned aversive stimulus is all the stimuli before the aversive stimulus presented minus the stimuli associated with the avoidance response; a form of escape behavior.
Avoidance behavior can develop when someone begins to be afraid of doing something so they avoid it.
The terms avoidance behavior are also loosely used to describe the act of knowing you should be doing something and you're not, because you're avoiding it.
- Re: Meet Cupid With A Sledgehammer #77290
17 y
6,225
Lugol’s Iodine Free S&H
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine Solution. Restore lost reserves.
Clarkia Extra Strong
Clarkia Tincture 2 oz, 4 oz, 8 oz, and 16 oz
Mercury Detox
Dental work and fillings, not a problem.
This is a reply to # 1,007,082Avoidance, of course it's avoidance. If the magic isn't there right from the start why pretend it is and just hurt her and myself because it doesn't work. That's exactly why I avoided the intimacy. I thought you girls would understand that. Honesty right up front, right from the start. Why be intimate with someone when you know its not there in the first place. They knew it too. And I just can't use people like that. Never been able to do that. So we would go out and have some fun together. Dining, lakeshore, golf, stock car races, etc.
And I'm not setting myself up for some more heartbreak. I have no unrealistic dreams of hooking up with my old love and walking hand and hand into the sunset. I'd like to see her again but I'm pretty sure we wouldn't get along now. I'm much too politically incorrect. She sold out for the money and status. Her own sister calls her the "rich bitch". So I have no illusions about her. But I do know what I discovered with her and that is what I want. Of course it doesn't have to be with her. And if it never happens again this lifetime it won't be a big heartbreak thing. I did survive terminal so all of life is rather exciting for me now.
But you know, its a funny thing. I haven't said a thing about this forum I'm doing with you folks to my wife. Haven't said a word. Haven't talked at all about the problems of our relationship. But apparently she's picking up on it because she has become very interested in me. Very loving, very open and caring and productive. You know, normal. She's even having fun at it too. Its wonderful to see.
I gave her no ultimatums, no harsh words, no though talk. All I've been doing is expressing myself with you folks. And she's changing right before my very eyes. Must be that sixth sense you girls have. Which I picked up in the war by the way. The only question now is, is it genuine, is it really love or did she sense that I was giving up on the whole thing?
I had no formal plans to get out of the relationship. I just figured if it was the same ole thing by next Spring I couldn't see hanging around the rest of my life. I might have said this before. I just want to see her happy. And if I'm making her so miserable, well, that ain't necessarily an easy thing to sit around and watch. She seemed to have a whole lot more fun before I came into her life. No self critisism on my part just objective observation. What would you do if you made someone sick and miserable? She was pretty happy and productive before I came along.
And give me some credit girls. I'm not a rookie in life. I've always treated women very good. Just got a call from my ex-wife from florida this morning. (been divorced for 10 years) Her best friend needs some of my services. She wasn't hesitant to call at all. We had a nice little chat and now I can help her best friend. That's a good thing. Yes, she's been happily married for several years now. No problem.
And Harleygyrl, I have read and viewed most of what you mention. Figuring I'm doing something wrong. But you're both right, there are people out there that use other people. I know that full well on a political and profesional level but I never applied it to marriage. I'll take responsibility for that and carry on.
But most of all I don't think either one of you really understand how much I appreciate your efforts. Just being able to speak freely about all this and get sound advise is a rare thing and has helped tremendously.
I'll say it again.....THANK YOU.....
- Re: Meet Cupid With A Sledgehammer AHarleyGyrl
17 y
5,913
This is a reply to # 1,007,602
" Why be intimate with someone when you know its not there in the first place."
That does not describe any man I've ever known.
"she has become very interested in me. Very loving, very open and caring and productive. You know, normal. She's even having fun at it too. Its wonderful to see."
- Re: Meet Cupid With A Sledgehammer want2beclean
17 y
6,419
This is a reply to # 1,007,602Ok, sounds weird, but think about this:
Maybe your wife is starting to respond because YOU are behaving differently. Before you say No, listen: thoughts are energy, energy that produces a result. Thoughts are creative. They create, they have life. A thought does NOT, as the saying goes, "come out of nowhere" - they come from you, and they go somewhere and produce a result. Often when people try to change in a big way, things will go haywire particularly in the area of change. As if your crap jumps up and says "are you sure you want to get rid of me? I have served you all these years". I say that because these thoughts have life, when you change them, the old/negative thoughts start to die of starvation. Have you ever noticed in nature the "will to live" factor? No one and nothing WANTS to die, the lowly mosquito in the spider web struggles to free itself. Such are our thoughts. But I digress.
The point is, you have willingly listened to what we think. To be willing is difficult for most of us. Some of what we have said has given you cause to pause and think, and maybe shift some of your own thinking. This change has drawn her closer, WITHOUT YOU THINKING YOU ARE DOING ANYTHING DIFFERENT!! Man how cool is that. Hopefully this shift will continue.
The hardest thing in the world for most people is to do the very dificult work of coming to self awareness. We BS ourselves more than we could ever BS others. To consider that our ideas that we are so proud of, so willing to defend, might be erroneous thinking, might serve us negatively and not positively as we believed, well my friend, that is WORK. Ah, but it is the work worth doing.
Take care. I agree with you that I would not pursue the person that represents the old love, but the qualities of the old love itself. And maybe that can be found from within yourself.
I wish you well- Re: Meet Cupid With A Sledgehammer #77290
17 y
5,989
This is a reply to # 1,007,687Thoughts are indeed things. Thus, we'll see what happens the next few months. The only thing that really changed in me was I quit - I gave up. Enough is enough. So I quit.
Apparently she picked up on that and is responding accordingly. Maybe she really does love me and I'll have that youth love thing with her. Sure would be nice. We'll just have to wait and see.
Thoughts are things was part of the problem I didn't understand because I always saw it perfect and most of the time in the rest of my life that worked quite well but I couldn't make it work at home. Thus, I percieved that God Himself didn't want us together.
Maybe my quitting was the key to waking her up.
Either way, I'll carry on.
One other thing. It's nice to meet some women that aren't users. I was beginning to think women were perfect and men not even worthy enough to be in their pressence.
- Re: Meet Cupid With A Sledgehammer want2beclean
17 y
6,332
This is a reply to # 1,007,844For me, I quit responding in such a way that I was feeding HIS "stuff". No wood for the fire, there is no fire. I am curious as to what it is that you quit. I think I know, but was wanting to hear from you - what did you quit. Not feeding the "Dynamic" is very difficult, sometimes I don't succeed. But I am now giving it an opportunity to change on its own, without my "well meaning assistance". I feel better that way. My current relationship may not survive. "we got issues". But that's ok. I get a chance to see what I do, no finger pointed at him. (well, sometimes, but I try to snap out of it and get back to what I am doing). This gives me great freedom. It makes him a little uncomfortable, but we're on different parts of the self-awareness path. Actually I think he's on the denial path **grin**. I have spent a lot of energy trying to get him to go with me. Now I am just going to go ahead on down the path, and if he wants to come fine, if not, he'll find someone to keep him company on the denial path, and I will find someone on the self-awareness path. Whatever he wants to do, I mean that. I love him so much, wish he would come. But explaining, cajoling, crying, martyring, none of that makes someone want to come. So I "quit"! And at this point, I don't even hold it against him! It just Is. Besides, I have some things to do to care for myself and that takes time, if he plays nice, then he can stay. If not, I will take my toys and leave. ;)
- Re: Meet Cupid With A Sledgehammer #77290
17 y
5,957
This is a reply to # 1,007,875I just quit within myself. It didn't change the way I treated her. It was obvious to me that she had a much better life before she met me and I finally accepted that. With me she's sick most of the time and just doesn't have any fun, won't participate. Her own daughter even mentioned it to me. "How come Moms sick all the time, she never smiles or has any fun?" Yes, we know all about Natural Healing and there's no physical reason for her to be sick.
Well, that's hard to live with. When you see your own mate sick and miserable all the time. You just know she does't like you. So, I accepted that.
Over the Summer at the cottage I would say to myself "Pretend you're alone". It's hard to be around someone when you know they don't like you, when you know it's you that's making them sick. So I pretended I was alone so I could at least enjoy the Summer at the lakeshore. Well, her daughter and I enjoyed the Summer anyway.
And at the end of the Summer I just accepted within myself that it was the last Sunmmer I would spend with her over there.
So specifically what I quit was seeing any kind of future with her. Why would I want to spend the rest of my life with someone I made sick and miserable? It wouldn't take her long to find someone else. At least then she'd be able to enjoy life a bit. So I quit seeing my future with her in it and pretended I was alone already. It worked too, I had a pretty good Summer.
AND, I really don't care if I'm alone for the rest of my life. My professional life is pretty busy and there's a few more things I can get busy with also. And I really do appreciate my alone time, especially at the cottage.
So I just pretended I was alone so I could start getting used to it. Which, of course means, I stopped seeing my future with her in it. I've said this before, I just want to see her happy. If I don't do it for her then I have to let her go find someone who does. Enough is enough.
I quit seeing her and I together. No future with her. I quit.- Update #77290
17 y
5,819
This is a reply to # 1,008,168Well, that didn't last long. She lasted about a week and a half. Back to the same ole stuff now.
Maybe it's because I put her back in my future mentally after discussing this all with you folks. Well, I thought she broke through, apparently not.
Either way, I can't remain in a foul mood because of it. Anyone got any tips on living with someone who dosn't like you and NOT be brought down by it???
She's going to treat me the same whether I'm in a good mood or offish mood. Professionally and socially I'm just naturally in a good mood. I want to stay in that good mood at home but it's hard to do when your mate is unresponsive and obviously doesn't like you. Soooooo....Any ideas?
- Update #77290
17 y
5,819
- Re: Meet Cupid With A Sledgehammer #77290
17 y
5,957
- Re: Meet Cupid With A Sledgehammer want2beclean
17 y
6,332
- Re: Meet Cupid With A Sledgehammer #77290
17 y
5,989
-
- Re: Meet Cupid With A Sledgehammer #77290
17 y
6,225
- Re: Meet Cupid With A Sledgehammer Alikat
17 y
6,030
This is a reply to # 1,006,698>>"I can do that but I'm waiting for that youth love again. That's where I was headed when the war came along. I can see now that I was indeed lucky to have the in love experience. We were only together 3 years but man, it was GREAT"
I'm not sure if I understand this correctly, and I also hope you don't feel like Torrie and I are ganging up on you. But certain things you say leave us somewhat disturbed. If we didn't care (Torrie, forgime me for the "we" thing, but I think you and I are on the same page on this) about helping a fellow human being to see the forest for the trees, we wouldn't stick our neck out into somebody else's business.
Does what you say above imply that you are thinking of trying to re -establish a relationship with the same girl that you knew eons ago? If so, this could have some serious implications. People do change, and although there are some things that people can seemingly share for an eternity, there are many other areas of our life in which we evolve from the time of our youth onwards. Relationships change over time as well, and the way people relate in their youth is markedly different from the way they do when they are older.
Are you making realistic plans, or are you planning on something so ethereal and unreal that you will once again be disappointed when it doesn't materialize the way you imagined?
Certainly the times of our youth held wonderful magical moments, but those moments do not continue on in the same way. Sure there are always beautiful things to grasp at every age of our existence, but they have a different quality and flavor from the things of youth. As a matter of fact, if we have truly enjoyed and grown from every successive experience, then the experiences in our later years leave the earlier ones looking pale by virtue of their depth and richness.
I'm not trying to discourage you from carrying out your dreams, but please make sure that what you plan is actually realistic so that you don't walk into an emotional trap again.- Re: Meet Cupid With A Sledgehammer AHarleyGyrl
17 y
6,335
This is a reply to # 1,007,312
Yes, Alikat, we are on the same page and I, like you, am trying to help the best I can. Sometimes the reality is not always easy to take, or to write. I don't have much problem with him seeing if his lost love is available and interested. The problem I have is I don't think he has the skills to "get the girl" and he probably doesn't even know where to begin. That is why I recommended the Joe Land CD Gaining Confidence with the Opposite Sex; Patti Novak Confessions of a Matchmaker tips on her website and watching her show; the Dr. Phil Books Self Matters and Life Strategies and Ellen Kreidman's relationship programs. Beyond that, I would recommend Tony Robbins, many of his programs are good.
There's fear, and then there is fear itself. I am not equipped to help him with the latter beyond recommending good programs and/or a Psychologist.
Torrie
Expand 18 messages, 61 to 78 of 78 Alikat
17 y
5,903
-
-
- Re: Meet Cupid With A Sledgehammer #77290
17 y
5,992
- Re: #77290 - thank you - to continue LuellaMay
17 y
5,847
- Re: #77290 - thank you - to continue #77290
17 y
5,982
-
Share:
Translate This Page: