Re: I need help fast: Serious family problems, long message *edit*

Hats off to you!

I recognize my own experiences in your story; good thing is I am a bit older so I can tell you how it went for me...

I also left my home when I was 19, mostly due to abuse there (I wasn't explicitly told to leave, it was just implied strongly and my stay was made impossible). It wasn't enough that I was pennyless, I also moved to a completely other town; I had a relative there who was willing to help, but he died a few days before I arrived...

I also had a girlfriend at the time so we supported each other emotionally. We moved in together, and immediately started working in a factory. This was barely enough to pay for our expenses (like rent and food) as we were paid a minimum wage in an expensive city. Later on we broke up, and I continued on my own.

I managed to advance a bit by bit in that area of work which I did at the factory, and few years later became a manager. Then the whole place went under and we were all jobless (it was a very volatile industry).

Again I was looking for work. If I found anything, it would usually be badly paid or the company was very unstable. Finding a good job was quite a challenge. I used all that time to study on my own, inspired by autodidacts like Da Vinci and others. When I didn't have money for books, I'd go to a bookstore and sit in some corner and read.

Another company I started working at, again went under just weeks after I started - it was like the worst string of bad luck. In desparation, I started driving a cab. Had a few attempts on my life, but luckily escaped unharmed... and with enough money to start studying what I always dreamed of - something to do with hi-tech stuff. (I wish I was a bartender or similar instead of a cab driver, they made way more money, and worked only two-three days a week!)

I was almost camping in school. I never took a day of off my studies; I was OD-ing on vitamins just to avoid getting sick and missing a class. In the end, I got a job offer, and in that company was promoted within a couple of weeks (I actually didn't want the promotion as I thought it would be too soon, but the boss just offered more money until I said - "yes").

Later on some of my work got quite a recognition, and I never ever looked for another job again - it was always offered to me. Lucky thing was with that money I could also help my sister who's quite a bit younger.

Now, people like to tell me how I was "lucky" and how not everyone gets their "chance in life"... I cannot help but laugh at that and after this story you probably understand why!

Point is - you make your own destiny the moment you stop depending on others. Also, no matter how impossible something seems, if you believe in it, and feel strongly about it, it will happen. And that's the begining of true happiness.

One more thing: don't make your career choice based on "what it pays"; rather go for what you like to do, keeping in mind that you may have to adjust your "liking" to reality (e.g. if you like riding chariots, maybe driving a truck is a more realistic choice?). You can only excell at something you feel passionate about.

Being young, be prepared that people will put you down just because they are naturaly inclined to do so when they come accross someone who they feel is vulnerable and who they feel is inferior to them (there are some great examples right here in this thread). Those putdowns are very subtle - they start with best intentions and end in advice which is contrary to your interests and well being. Eric Berne called those "I am only trying to help you" games. :-)
Don't pay attention to those; instead, even after all the advice in the world, weigh them all and make your own decisions, as it is always better to make your own mistake then someone else's - besides, you are most likely to know what's best for you!

And then, one day when you have it made, someone somewhere will tell you how you were "lucky" and how things were "easy" for you, and I have a feeling you'll get a good chuckle out of it, just like I do
:-)

All the best to you and keep praying - they say that when we pray we talk to God (who DOES listen), and that when we meditate, we listen to God. Tweet