Re: I need help fast: Serious family problems, long message

Thank you again wombat, you've been immensely helpful. More than I can say lol. I will check out that book for sure. I hope it's all the library, otherwise I'll have to figure out some way to buy it.

I know I have to chill. I know I do. Bite my tongue... everything just piles onto of eachother and I explode. Because I do start off just trying to express myself. I'll say something like "It hurts me when you do this because..." and my mom will get huffy right away so I don't feel like I'm being heard so I try other things to make myself heard - things that obviously don't work. But I don't know what WILL work!! She always walks away when I talk to her, no matter what. I feel like I don't count.

I day dream too much. I'm very idealistic about how things should be, I realise that too. It's part of why I love helping people though, I see their problems as a challenge and I see how great their life could be... it frustrates me when they sabotage themselves. I'm truly not trying to be critical, I just try to be helpful and inform... but it's difficult to wait for people to ask for help. I know most people never will. I have to learn that.

I'm only learning how to be honest with others and not try to hide my unfortunate circumstances... that I'm not bad for having a negative home life. It's hard, because some people have rejected me for it. But others have been great. It's the rejection that I fear though. I just want everyone to like me. I get so upset when people think negative things about me.

I don't think I'll be welcomed back to my mom's house. I'm frightened as to where I'll end up. Do you think everything happens for a reason? Should I just trust it'll all work out? Trust is so difficult sometimes, especially when we seem to be falling with our backs to the floor. We can't see where we're going to land.