Re: I need help fast: Serious family problems, long message

With all due respect #42781, I think that you need to reread my posts. Never once did I suggest that she is the one "making the trouble".

I certainly did suggest that the only thing that she can change is herself.

She is 19, in school and has no money. Absolutely I agree with you that moving away would be great. I certainly don't see how that is feasible at this time, and I certainly DO see that the financial stress of living on one's own could potentially delay REAL freedom(as in, finishing her schooling and gaining the ability to make a living). I suggested that staying in school should be her first priority as that is what will enable her to lead an independent life at some point.

I disagree with some of your advice. To imagine her as being better looking than her mother and sister is ridiculous. Who knows? Who cares? As an anorexic, she obviously has a distorted body image, and for you to feed into THAT is harmful and destructive. To suggest that everyone is jealous of her and HATES her is presumptuous, way off base and merely feeds into a victim mentality. It is not a path to self-empowerment. To suggest that she never see her family again is cold and heartless. If you reread her posts you will see that she loves her mother very much, and that her relationship with her sister pains her. They are not "villians". They are flawed human beings and deserve consideration and forgiveness. It will do her no good in the long run to reject them as being "bad". Noone is all "bad", and noone is all good.

How you surmised that I was suggesting that she try to "appease" people
that "obviously hate her", I don't know. Yes, I suggested that she take a proactive role and do something nice AND examine her own behavior, and try to figure out how it's NOT working. I suggested that she could perhaps help those even LESS fortunate...

In fact, in YOUR post, you tell her that EVERYONE hates her, yet somehow *you* can tell that she is made of "especially lovable material" or somesuch?

huh?
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