Wow. You really smacked that one on the head. You sound like me! Meanevilbad&nasty, too, eh?
My husband talks one thing and does another. We come across as conservative, decent but then behind closed doors he watches anything and everything and so do the kids. He is not a good parent; can only try to "be their friend", leaving me as the only parent. They know how to "work it" like nobody's business. (Guess who he always sides with?) Bad situation and has always been like this except when they were younger and he couldn't be bothered to give them the time of day. My gosh, how I had to "overcompensate" for him! (I just HATE to see my son, in particular, become a con artist, a liar, a batterer....the cycle repeating itself. My daughter cold as ice now....I don't know what happened but I can hardly even recognize them anymore. They used to be wonderful human beings. I have to trust that they will return to the values I taught them.)