Re: No emotion

For 2 years after I left the SOB, I had nightmares in which I would relive almost every incident of abuse.  Then, one night, I started the same old nightmare pattern and, to my surprise, fought back, flipped him over on his back, pinned him down with that dream-reality strength that's nonexistent in "real life," and spat in his face!  ROTFLMAO!!!!  From that time on, I didn't experience another nightmare, to this day.

One thing I do experience, though, is episodes of PTSD, though they are so infrequent today that they hardly qualify as episodes.  It used to be that a man could say specific words in a specific order (obviously, without knowing my history) and I would fly into a defensive rage!  LMAO!!!  Even today, I have to really monitor myself in the company of other abusive people.  For instance, there's this couple that I have minimal contact with in the ceramic studio that are so verbally abusive that it takes my breath away.  The husband obviously detests women, literally screams at his wife for not practicing HIS methods of throwing pots, and she (in turn, like all good victims) will engage in verbal abuse of the first person that speaks to her.

I was joking about Merck!  I was on antidepressants for 2 years in the belief that it was I who was crazy in our marriage!  LMAOLMAOLMAO  Lordy, once I left the abuser, I never needed another pill!