women & men as friends.why is it IMPOSSIBLE???
actually, i know, basically cause i have a vagina and he has a penis, but you would think, that people are at a certain age would be honest and open with what they want from a relationship, especially when they 'have been there and done that many times'...that they wouldn't turn on you all of a sudden?
again and again, i'm (very painfully consciously aware) ending up in a scenario where my best friend/buddy guy ends up getting neurotic and heavy cause he has the hots for me/loves me/sais i'm like a drug (eeewww, grossss!)etc.etc, meanwhile i am living comfortably with the idea that i got an awesome, light, fun, friendship going!
i have been tomboyish all my life and you guessed it most of my friends have been guys.i like action, sports, don't care for girly stuff too much and am very intellectual. yes, i'm also emotional, but very rational at the same time, very little drama, even to the point of avoidance i admit...i'm also very laid back, so guys have been attracted to me as friends cause they say they feel like they can be themselves around me.
well, that's good. but then things turn ugly all of a sudden and most times i don't know what hit me, or why this person would turn on me. it hurts, i feel betrayed, especially when the real motive comes out.
the thing is i make things clear, i'm honest,i say FRIENDS, not relationship, i don't get too heavy, or physically involved, just have fun, i listen, but keep things light.
so why do my guy friends always end up bitter cause they want more and i can't give them more? why do i attract such selfish men, who say to me that 'i make THEM feel good' yet there is no consideration that they make ME uncomfotable? they just wanna get things off their chest and without caring what the consequences will be to the friendship or me.
i'm out of a long relationship that went bad (due to distance, there was no lack of love) and just wanna be friends, have fun, good food, good conversations...etc.
i just don't know what to do anymore, i'm so disgusted i feel like being alone and not letting anyone in at all..yet i can't help it cause i'm a social creature.
anyone else dealt with this successfully?