Ocean,

I think you missed the thrust of my post.
You say, " i think (hehe), because the way i grew up, running wild with the boys, sometimes i see them as just people, i see past the sexual orientation. i'm blind to it."

If that were true, you would hang out with as many women as you do men. You don't. In fact you say that most of your friends are men. By your own words you are not ignoring the difference of the genders, in fact you are observing a preference.

I completely agree with you that some people are more ready for platonic relationships than others. The difference here, is that most, not all, but most men, and yes women, have a hard time discerning between the intimacy that you are allowing in your "friendships" and the intimacy of a prospective boyfriend/girlfriend. Like I said, men for the most part DO NOT SHARE the kind of intimacy that you enjoy with your guy friends. That is more something that we reserve for women that we are interested in. Think of it as "opening up". Something that is hard for both genders, but again just a standard difference between the sexes. I know I am making a generalization here... I hope everyone understands that there are those that do not fall into this catagory... but for the sake of understanding, sometimes we have to use the "norm" as a standard. Opening up is generally a sign that a man is considering the girl that he is opening up to as a prospective. Its our way of testing the waters, if you will. We see how she reacts to us, as we really are. The tender side.

Now throw in the part regarding your beauty... yes we have to put this in the mix. Why? Because society has decreed that beauty means attraction, and not just something to be enjoyed through observation. Therefore, men and women, who have exposed themselve to a beautiful person, begin to think... What they miss, is that you are justing being a nice person, listening to their problems, or their insights, their ideas... being a friend. Don't we all want to be "friends" with the one we fall in love with though?
DO you see the connection here... it is a series of stages or developments that is completely normal to the western idea of courtship.

And THIS at long last brings me to my point. YOU and I and several others, like to hang out right here... at that point between intimacy of a relationship and intimacy of friendship. We get all we need, just by staying here... it is an emotional need that is met and we feel comfortable with.
YOU cannot get mad and should not feel betrayed when a man or woman for that matter, takes your intentions the wrong way. You lead or allowed them to get to this point. The problem is, they did not understand. Some will come to, others won't. Some people are not capable of hanging out in the "middle ground". That's okay. It takes all kinds to make the world go around. This is however YOUR problem. You cannot control how others react to you, but you can control how you react to them. I am sure you are gentle when you let these guys down. Don't change that... but you may want to slow it down some in the future. Not a lot, just enough so that you can get a better read on the type of person you are becoming "friends" with. Find out before you start letting them open up to you, whether they are of the same stuff as yourself.

One more thing and then I must go...

"i know it takes a certain level of consciousness to do it, i just forget we are on different levels. we should all carry evolution id cards from now on, sorta like mood rings you know?"


I had to pull this down... there is some insight here into your personality that I wish you would take a look at. What you say is well enough to myself, because I think I understand what you mean... but to others it may read as though you believe you are better than them because you do enjoy the middle ground of intimacy. I know that's not what you truly meant. Those of us who can hang in the middle are not better, or more evolved than others... we are different. we think different. the day when all the world thinks the same way will be a sad day indeed. The great thing about being human is the variety of insight and observation and understanding... and just everything else... The maturity of age teaches us that we have to respect the feelings and such of others... respect does not mean being PC (i hate that term) but it does mean we should be in more control of ourselves. Think about that and get back with me... I know that this is long and that there is a lot in here, but I am interested in hearing your ideas.

-thinker