Re: Abusive Friend- what do I do? He is still you

Confused Freind,


In a true sense, everyone on earth, is a victim of this world and their upbringing because we REACT to our environment (daily situations, what we were taught, etc.). In that sense, I can pity him. But nobody HAS TO react in an unjust way, that was his own choice (and this is cowardly). The reason there are so many young people in prison is because they finally got caught giving back to this world what they got from it (meaning their homelife gave them a life of hell and they knew nothing else except hell). It is recognized in social research that, ultimately, all the ills of humanity stem from a troubled family life, so, of course he is a victim of life, but he is also responsible for his own actions. Get yourself out of the picture before it destroys you, you only enable him.

Nobody forced him to be with a person he feels (at least this is what he told you in order to justify himself to you, insulting your intelligence because he has no respect for you) is a "crazy bitch". If she really is this way, his decision to be with her is INSANE (meaning he is not sane). After all, you have such opinions as "completely not okay" (this opinion doesn't deserve respect because this opinion disrespects all humanity...and sanity itself). With an opinion like this, you might become a future abuser yourself (and/or may attract one, they SEEK people who can be influenced to feel this way). You have to take a hard stand on this for YOU yourself.

The worst part of your post was that your opinion is that it is "completely not okay" because he has always had too many people in his life that feel that his behavior is simply "unkempt", "naughty", mischievious,...so he continues his bad behavior because he is then being simply a "rambunctios little kid". Do you see, by you having that attitude, like so many other people in his life who were careless enough not to be a good influence in his life, IN RETROSPECT, ALLOWED this to happen, BUT, you are not responsible for what HE chose to do. This is the pity of an ENABLER (we are unwitting accomplices...IN A RETROSPECTIVE SENSE ONLY). HE ALONE is morally responsible for his behavior (always remember this). Never take away another person's responsibility for their own actions, for whenever you relieve someone of their responsibility, you take away their humanity. This is a VERY hard lesson to learn, and many, many "innocents" have learned this the hard way (if at all).


Always draw a hard line on justice (for conscience sake) and never let yourself become an unwitting accomplice. Do not accommodate those who are wrong with either your approval or agreement.

Look at REALITY and change your opinion/attitudes about things like this.

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