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Day 12 - that's better
An addict's story
Date: 8/10/2007 1:27:06 PM ( 17 y ) ... viewed 1906 times Well a fantastic day after two very mixed ones. Wednesday was just a truly awful day for me anyway and it's difficult to know if and how the cleanse affected thatl. Today I've drunk diluted orange juice through the day and haven't been too hungry and now I'm drinking the soup I made last night. I pureed it all down and I'm drinking it with a third of boiling water on top which tastes yummy. I've had loads of energy, felt positive and my throat is pretty much better. Yay for vegetables :)
So I thought today would be a good day to talk about how the cleanse has affected me personally. To do that I need to tell you one huge motivating factor behind it that I haven't written about before. To cut a long story short two years ago I was prescribed seroxat (a seretonin inhibitor or anti-depressant) to help me cope with some stuff I was going through. I was living abroad at the time, had gone through a very painful breakup and was self harming because I just had no other coping mechanisms and very few friends out there. I was a bit of a mess really.
Pretty much immediately I regretted going on the medication. Despite the lack of warnings they are incredibly addictive and further research showed reports that they actually increase the rate of self harm and suicidal tendancies. Dontcha just love pharmecutical PR! So for about 18 months I've been weening myself off them, cutting down to one every other day, the breaking them in half, then into quarters until the last two months when I have been taking one quater tablet (5mg) every third day. Even on these tiny amoutns if I tried to stop I got horrendous withdrawl... dizziness, nausea, headaches and a feeling like an electric shock in my head that sent me off balance. In short, it was terrible and I couldn't cut my dosage any further.
At this point I decided that a detox might help me. I'd already half intended to do an MC but this was a big reason to give it a go. I tried to push this to the back of my mind though and focus on the cleanse, which I started on a Monday, having taken my last 5mg on the Friday. I wanted to see the cleanse as a success even if it didn't help with the meds. I don't know whether the cleanse sped up the process of the drugs exiting my body or something else or if it was just a placebo effect but they helped immeasurably. I only experienced withdrawl after 6 days of taking the last meds and it was less severe, lasting for a few hours at a time. It has now been 2 weeks since I last took meds and for the past 2 days I've experienced little or no withdrawl at all. My pills are in the bin and I am free. I can't tell you how good it feels.
So of course this has been a massive benefit for me and I would recommend the cleanse as a way of coming off addictive meds, from my own experience at least.
I also suffered from headaches. Most days I would wake up with my jaws clenched and pain behind my eyes. I haven't had a headache since day 2 of the cleanse and although that was one of the worst I've ever had it was worth it to make them stop. Who knows, maybe they'll come back but I'm going to be so careful as to what I put in my body from now on and I hope that with good food, lots of water and a cleaner system I can stop them for good.
Other effects that I've noticed are that I have more energy that usual, I'm sleeping better, waking up better and my body feels great (and although I don't like to admit it I am pleased with the weight loss, even if it is only temporary). I'm just amazed at what can be achieved in such a short space of time and it has definitely made me want to try a 20 day cleanse next.
Psychologically as well it has benefited me. I feel emotionally stonger (although this may also be from the lack of SIs in my system) and it has definitely made me re-address my definition of 'hunger'. Most importantly I feel that I value my body more. I will be much more conscious of what I'm putting in it and the way I treat it, because obviously the bigger changes are still to come.
Woo, what a cheesey ending, I feel like high fiving someone.
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