Re: How to help my husband with p 0 r n

If I have offended you, I sincerely apologize. My point with regard to narcissism is this: we don't often understand what we've gotten ourselves into until years down the road and narcissism is often (almost exclusively) tied up with p 0 r n o g r a p h y and sexual addiction. In my case, my ex was addicted to severly perverse p 0 r n, a raving abusive narcissist, a spousal rapist, he "allowed" me to stay at home to "raise the kids," encouraged frivilous spending (sent us into bankruptcy), and made sure that I was as isolated as possible from friends, family, and any network of support while I was attempting to raise our children.

It very well may be that your spouse is wonderful in nearly all regards - I apologize for that comment, as well.

Absolutely, talk about your concerns and how his viewing of p 0 r n makes you feel. No, a woman does not have to make herself look or behave like the women that are seen in p 0 r n o g r a p h i c photos or videos - they are paid professionals. The concern about most p 0 r no is that most production companies are owned and operated by men and the sexual "acting" is usually degrading, demeaning, can be violent, etc., and does not, in any way, depict normal, healthy sexual relations between loving, respectful adults.

If you feel that counseling would help, there should be a toll-free number for (CRINGE) mental and behavioral health referrals in your phone book. They can direct you to a mental/behavioral health professional that will take their fees on a sliding scale. No matter which course you choose, if it were me, I would state my feelings clearly and insist that some compromise be reached.

Again, I offer you my best wishes and, again, I apologize for any discomfort that my comments may have caused you, or others. Tweet