Re: What about the guys that are trying?

John...

I also lost a previous relationship after I sobered up about 10 years ago. She thought once I stopped drinking and sincerely started working the program that all our problems would go away. She had never known me when I was coming from a place of sobriety and didn't know how to handle it. When it was suggested to her that she maybe seek some help herself she went ballistic, stating that she wasn't the one with the problem!

After a year of sobriety, I met my current wife and got married - vowing that alcohol would not destroy this relationship. I felt I didn't need AA anymore and as a result began drinking in secret again after a couple years.

She has a history of alcoholics in her family. Her father and first husband were both alcoholics. Several of her brothers are probably alcoholics also - but won't admit they have a problem. Her and her family have a prejudice against 'real alcoholics' like me and are constantly comparing me to an uncle they all hated!

This is her biggest concern about getting back together. You are also correct about her taking control. She says she wants a 'partner' but is unwilling to let go of her demanding attitude!

BTW - She does attend Al-anon. I think this is one of the problems because it is a small group of bitter women whose answer for relationship problems always seems to be, "Leave the bastard!".

Thanks for the input... Tweet