Re: HELP!! Women who sleep with married men.

I understand your question and would have had the same one before a year ago.
I offer my story (or a brief version of it as a possiblity). I have been married myself for 12 years. The last few years have been rough. My husband lost his job and struggled to find his way. It made him feel bad about himself and that made him treat me poorly even though he is a good man. All that made me feel bad about myself, like I was a pack horse, taking care of the family, the finances, the house, everything with no appreciation.
I went to a conference last year and went to dinner with a few of the attendees. Later, three of us went to a bar. We all chatted and had a nice time, I had no other thoughts about this except that it became evident that the one man was gay and interested in the other who was obviously straight. I found the whole thing amusing. So the man I had sat next to in the conference (the straight man) started paying attention to me to divert the attentions of our gay companion. I still didn't think anything of it. Our gay friend finally left and gave it up and the other man continued to give me attention anyway. It felt good to be appreciated and flattered.

We ended up going to his hotel room. I was surprised I made that decision - this was the only other man I've ever slept with besides my husband. It just happened, but it was a conscious decision. I did it because I wanted to and I do not regret it. Later, it turned out that the man was married as well. He had taken off his rings, I guess. I had not. The thought would not have even occurred to me to do so.

I would have never thought myself capable of this, but somehow feel liberated and surprisingly not guilty. It made me realize that sometimes life is not as black and white as we try to make it.

So why did I do it? He was sweet to me, it felt good to have some attention, it felt good to not be so perfect for awhile, it was healthful to do something wrong and realize that the world would not end, to be more human for awhile. It made me realize that if things did not work out with my husband, there were still possibilities for me. It gave me the experience of another person that I always felt I had been deprived of.

I guess my point to all this is that people cheat for many reasons and the reason rarely have that much to do with sex. They have to do with being valued, appreciated, feeling desireable to others and such, and this is true for men as well as women. I suggest you explore these questions instead of why some women you do not know would sleep with him. Tweet